Movie Theater Etiquette

8 Jul

OK,  movie goer’s … It’s time we have a serious talk!

For starters, let me explain a little bit about my life, and what I do, in order for you to understand how important this post is to me.

Once upon a time (not even a full 2 years ago) I had “a life.”  I went out every weekend— to a party, a club, a bal (aka a small concert in the Haitian world), out of town to NY, and the likes … I was everywhere and anywhere!

As most of you know, though, thanks to a little something called Seronegative Spondyloarthropathy in which I discussed in a post many moons ago  “Me and my Arthritis- 5 things I learned”  All that fun loving, and club hopping came to an abrupt end.

My hips don’t lie and , literally,  just can’t take it anymore!  Anywho!

Fast Forward to my life (or lack thereof) now.

One of the only things I do as a form of  “Going out” is to actually go to the movies!  I’ve been, just about every weekend or every other weekend in the past few months, and pretty much have my weekends for the rest of the year planned out as to what movies I will be seeing… (Yes I’m a nerd– Don’t judge me).

MOVING RIGHT ALONG!

With that said there are just some things that have been —what’s the word?— Ah yes, INFLICTED on me that I just don’t see the use for. Common courtesy and common sense, are clearly a thing of the past, so I am here my dear friends to beg (see: enlighten) you on things that I really don’t think are fair to those around you.

1. FEET- *shudder* I hate feet! I hate feet with a passion deep in my soul that I just can’t explain.  Sometimes, (back when I had money and used to get pedicures on a regular basis) I would avert my eyes as to not stare at someones crazy looking toes.

SO PLEASE! for the love of GOD,  if you absolutely MUST put your feet up on the seat in front of you (meaning my seat) Please keep your shoes on. There is no reason for me to have to see your fat, nasty, hairy big toe—Wiggling in my peripheral, when really I should be able to focus on Channing Tatum humping a stage.

2. CONTROL YOUR LAUGHTER- This one pains me because I know there is a good possibility that I to have an obnoxious laugh.  However, with this knowledge, I try my best to control it when other’s are around me.

Yes, you paid for the movie.  So, yes, you should be able to enjoy it. But so did everyone else.  So, the loud cackles, mixed with thunderous claps, and feet stomping— as if you’re in a stadium— are distracting and down right annoying. And they make it hard for everyone else to hear what the hell is going on.

Plus, sorry sir– that sat in front of us– but Madea really wasn’t THAT funny!

3. CLOTHES- Ladies! (Especially of the younger persuasion) I am SO GLAD for you that

your–whoever–brought you on a date to the movies.

However,  please dress appropriately. This isn’t you first movie,  and the concept of a theater stopped being new decades ago! So I’m pretty sure you knew, before you left the house and threw on that outfit that could rival a stripper, that it was going to be colder than a meat freezer inside.

So why do I have to see all your goodies, and then hear you complaining that it’s cold, or have the chattering of your teeth– as you catch pneumonia–ringing in my ears?

Where are you going??

 

I know you just wanted to look good for your date but sorry boo boo—  Your nakedness distracts us all, and not in a good way.

*This has been a certified rant from your’s truly*

If you have some movie theater etiquette you’d like to share with me, or just bad movie experience’s … Please feel free to rant Below! 🙂

3 Responses to “Movie Theater Etiquette”

  1. thelastsongiheard July 8, 2012 at 11:44 PM #

    No cell phone rant??? I was getting pissed during Inception because I kept hearing this chime throughout the first twenty minutes… I honestly thought it was in the movie… and then I realised it was my brother in law… then he got up, answered the phone and started talking as he walked past everyone…

    I cringed… I really did….

    I find people talking through the trailers annoying too but I won’t do anything about it. I like to see what’s coming up and yes, I know they have this thing called Flixter, which is awesome, but you can’t beat seeing the Dark Knight Rises trailer on the big screen.

    So please, if there’s anyone reading this who talks during the trailers, shut up.

    Okay, someone else can have the soapbox now.

    • lolosofocused July 9, 2012 at 2:40 PM #

      LOL … you know, now that I think about it I’ve been pretty lucky with the cell phone thing. Other than the occasional person who keeps their phone out the entire movie and I catch the glare from the screen, the actual talking bit, the movie Gods have shown mercy on me!! Haha!! And yeah I think you need to have a talk with your brother-in-law! It better have been an emergency at least! smh!

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