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Humility Never Goes out of Style

8 Apr

So stay humble! That’s my message for today.

Why—where did this come from you wonder? Where else: Social Media.

Now, I don’t consider myself a Social Media junkie. Not in the least. I do have a Twitter, Facebook, and of course this blog … but that’s about it.

From time to time I’ll follow a friend’s Tumblr link. Look at a picture of something on pinterest, or stumble on something funny or informative on a friends livejournal……..

Okay, so maybe I’m a closet junkie—a lurker if you will.

But that’s okay … that’s what they’re there for after all, right?

Yes and No! Some people seem to have forgotten about the ‘Social’ part of social media.

Just go on Twitter. Go ahead—for a few minutes. Not to converse with anyone, but just to observe. Did you look? How many links did you notice vs. conversations? Not just spamming, but so many hashtags you thought someone was trying to bust out an epic game of tic-tac-toe?

How many “twitter celebrities” did you peep shouting “Follow back” “ifollow” etc. only they have thousands of followers, and are only following 10 people?

How many one-sided conversations did you see where the recipient is simply not responding?

A lot more of those than Socializing, huh?

Now check Facebook. Same thing? Not surprised.

It’s like a phenomenon I’ve noticed. (or has it always been that way and I’ve just never realized?) Where pod people have invaded what’s supposed to be fun ways to connect with others for … what? Personal gain? Ego boosting? Sales and marketing?

Now, I respect the hustle. These sites are a sure fire way to ‘get the word out’ about your products, skills, etc. but it seems a lot of people want something, but don’t give back in return. Why oh WHY would I ever RT your –spam– promo link when you haven’t said a word to me, or anyone else for that matter. Ever. If all your TL shows is the same tweet or post over and over. You’re clearly a robot or have scheduled the same tweet with no intention on helping anyone but yourself. That makes you lazy. It also makes you very lame and selfish. (Sorry, yeah I went there).

This isn’t to say you should or have to follow everyone who follows you (Twitter has limits on how many you can follow anyway) or repost everyone of your friend’s tumblr’s or pins (whatever you call it) or like all their statuses, and pics, and links and I’m just getting a headache thinking about it ’cause some people just OD… But when you’re like that with everyone? Thinking you’re just too good … Lifts up a judging eyebrow at you.

Not cool.

In this day and age there are a lot of people making being an asshole seem like the ‘in thing to do’… they’re lying to you. Kanye gets away with it ’cause he’s Kanye. And really how many people can even stand him anymore? (Sorry to call you out, my dude. But you know you’re a dick sometimes) …

I follow an author on Facebook who has over 200k likes on her page… She somehow finds time to communicate with as many readers as she can… offering advice etc. or just answering as a whole because … well, she’s not a machine and can’t answer everyone.

While I don’t follow many (if any celebrities on twitter) some of the people I follow have an upwards of tens of thousands of followers. One no name guy has over 80k followers—don’t ask me how he got them (though he also follows that much) and if you scroll down his TL (not all of his tweets are savory) he’s not a bot and actually has conversations with many different people.

Those are just two examples, but it’s just the point that it makes me scratch my head when nobodies act like they’re … well, somebody. Is this post bordering on harsh? Catty, even? Shrugs probably, but I felt the need to say it.

Arrogance isn’t admirable.

The cockiness isn’t cute.

If you think you’re too good to be social—chances are you’re not.

I don’t care what your title is. Being humble earns more respect any day of the week in my book.

YOU are your competition

10 Jan

On your mark . . . get set . . . wait–how about we just walk together!?

Throughout “life” we learn a lot about people but mostly, hopefully, we learn about ourselves, too!

One thing I’ve learned–and am constantly reminded of–is that I’m not a “competitive” person.

I don’t see the point.

Now … I don’t think this applies to situations when sports are involved, or let’s say two students  are vying for ONE scholarship, for example.

There are times when competition (friendly or not) is not only expected, but required!

There are other times, however, where it’s so uncalled for; when it rears it’s ugly head it makes people–like me who don’t see the need–look around, scratch their head and go, “Huh?!”

We all want success. We all want someone, anyone, and sometimes several people to tell us our goals and aspirations aren’t crazy or unattainable. The validation that WE ARE good enough. Being your own cheerleader isn’t always enough.

So how about being a cheerleader for others? Telling them “good job” and pressing forward when they’ve reached a plateau you wanted or maybe still want.

How about keeping your head up, licking your wounds and working your ass off ’til YOUR days comes and those same people you cheered for can return the favor and be in your support system. Your very own cheering section.

Here’s something else I’ve learned.

Some people do things because they love it, but come against, and in contact with those who have ulterior motives. Maybe it’s hard to watch those people succeed. Maybe you feel someone else (you, a family member, or friend) is more deserving. But at the end of the day, this may be hard to hear, but SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE clearly disagrees.

She got the part.

He scored that agent.

She doesn’t deserve that man.

He isn’t good enough for her.

They got that award.

Someone decided that person earned, or deserved what they got.

Rarely are things simply handed to people these days.

Most importantly what I’ve learned:

If shine is what you seek: Trust–there’s enough shine to go around. Period. Maybe this person’s light shines a little brighter. But look around, someone probably thinks the same thing about you. You might be blinding someone right now.

I don’t care what anyone says. YOU are your competition. YOU should strive to get better for YOU. It shouldn’t be about him, her, them or they.

Don’t waste time comparing yourself to others and looking at them as “competition” . . . that’s weak. It doesn’t matter how they got to where they are—They’re there! If that’s where you want to be . . . start looking at them as inspiration.

It’ll save you a lot more time.

~Lory

Twitter: @lolosofocused

Flaming- What’s the point?

5 Jul

For the LIFE OF ME … I can not understand the point in flaming people!

For those who may not know what a flame is— in the literary world it’s an intentionally hurtful/ malice review on someone’s body of work. I don’t know if that’s the actual definition, but you get the picture.

Now, this isn’t to be confused with politely and in a constructive way voicing your dislike for something or your opposing viewpoint of something.  After all not every book, blog, magazine article etc. is compiled with everyone in mind.

I, for one, have never read the Wall St. Journal, and probably never will.

Therefore, I am not the target audience.  So a flamer, to me, is someone who goes out scouting material not meant for them— in which they already know they will not like—all for the purpose of bashing the authors and their integrity, creativity, character, education, you name it—they bash it.

So this is what I ask: What’s the point?

What do you flamers get out of leaving nasty and hurtful reviews for people? Is it something that helps you sleep better at night? Make you feel big like you accomplished something? Do you feel like you’re doing a public service and speaking out for the weaklings who might not “have the balls to admit that they are really thinking?”

This is all kidding aside… I am DYING to understand it.

Now, I’ll admit I’ve been pretty lucky. With the exception of a few people stating that my characters may be a bitch, dense, or vapid … or that my blog has no rhyme or reason to it (*snort* I already told people my blog is about everything and nothing but whatever) … No one has come through and ripped me to the core in how much my family sucks, how I’m going to hell, or how I should never write again. (I’m sure that will change but whatever)

However, something people on the outside tend not to realize is that we bloggers, writers, etc.  are VERY much protective of each other because in simple terms: We know the struggle.

So, no, I haven’t gotten the worst of the flaming (yet) but having to see, read, or hear about fellow writers and bloggers going through this,  I feel it and again: I will never understand the point.

Yes, we put our works and thoughts out there to be judge and criticized, I get it, and it’s the nature of the beast. But to tell someone you don’t like their story or characters, or their blog— is not to tell them how horrible of a person they are, or how they or their families will rot in hell, or to threaten them or WORSE … when they post about a tragic event on a blog for you to call them LIARS, hate on them, or wish harm on them and their families during a tragic time.

For those who don’t know what it’s like … I would love for you to live inside the mind of a writer (aspiring or not) just for one day and see if you can come out on the other side sane. Those characters you read about—the ones you love to hate, or hate to the love? That murderer, that victim— yeah, they all lived in our minds for an insurmountable amount of time before we were able to put them on paper. You don’t like them fine. But you don’t know the man or woman behind the screen, the story that we may have lost sleep or shed tears over. Yet you sit behind your anonymity and exist solely to tear us down.

So I am asking, begging, for you all to enlighten me. As most flamers tend to hide behind their screens, never wanting to reveal their identities—have no fears you don’t have to sign in to comment under my posts.

I mean, GOD FORBID you have to actually take back the shit you dish out, huh?

Isn’t she lovely? Isn’t she wonderful ….

29 Jun

Didn’t think I meant it when I said I’d be right back, huh? Well HA! 🙂

OK!!! I would like to thank the Awesomeness that is YYChristian over at The Key’s to attraction blog for nominating me for the “One Lovely Blog” Award! I don’t think I can gush enough about his blog, But I’m gonna attempt it!!

Fella’s! PLEASE for the love of all that is good in the eyes of single women– PLEASE check out his blog! And ladies please show him some love to… He’s trying to help school the men folk, on just about everything on the do’s and don’ts of … well everything! And he does a damn good job at it. *Whispers, “He must double check with the ladies on some things ’cause he’s a little too spot on with some of the advice.”* 😉

Moving right along!

As with Every Award you know what times it is!

So here are the rules!

* Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post.

* Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.

* Nominate fifteen or so bloggers you admire.

* Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know and link back to them

Part 1-

7 things about Lolo (I may have already said some of these things before, but *shrugs* that must mean I really want you to know them).

1. I’m the youngest of three … (and the super annoying younger sister).

2. I’ve lived in Florida, Massachusetts, New York, and Haiti

3. I’m in my 20’s <— (That’s all you’re gonna get) lol

4. I’m afraid of the dark! (Things go bump in the night after all)

5. I hate, hate, HATE squirrels. (This I know I’ve said before, but it deserves mention twice. I just don’t understand why the little bastards exist).

6. I’ve seen more cooter than all the men I know combined! (I used to bar tend/waitress at a strip club).

7. The only sport I watch is Soccer.

Bonus: Since I jipped ya with bringing the squirrels up again

8. I played the clarinet for 4 years, but my brother made me quit when I got into high school!

Part 2-

Nominations

This might seem like a total cop-out … but in all fairness– this go round, I can’t pick! Really I follow so many blogs, and they all have so many things to offer that I won’t be able to decide. (Especially since I’ve been MIA for almost 2 weeks and a lot can change during that time you know).

Instead, I would just like to turn this back over to you guys! Thank you SO much for always providing me with laughs and smiles! From writing advice, to dating advice, to all around randomness … There really are some awesome bloggers on WordPress!!!!! Please check them out, and when you find a hidden gem of a blog that needs some recognition … pass along these awards to let them know how awesome they are and how much you appreciate them! 🙂

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

You can follow me on Twitter: @lolosofocused

Penis Envy

12 Jun

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned”

As,  I’m days late with posting,  and the theme of my life continues to be sloth… Today’s sin of the day is: Envy

To be more specific . . . I’m taking it one step further to . . .  Penis Envy

Now, I’m not talking about Freud’s disturbing theory about when a young girl starts having a sexual desire for her father, and resentment towards her mother and all that, ’cause . . .  NO! Just . . .  NO! *shudder*

What I AM talking about however, is that moment, somewhere around your mid 20’s when we woman realize,  that we do in fact,  lack a penis.  

And the privilege’s that come with it.  

I’m sure this all started way before my time, but since I wasn’t alive during the “Woman’s Lib Movement” . . . I’ll take you back to the early 2000’s. 

Before the kids these days had “Kim Kardashian” as role model, and sex tapes were a sure fire way to hit stardom.

I had Lil’ Kim, Christina Aguilera, and the likes, singing in my ear that , as women,  “It was time to make a change,  and stand our ground against double standards”  and to literally  “SHOUT OUT LOUD!!” ‘Cause ‘Can’t no body hold us down.’ Yada, Yada, Yada . . .

And you know what I did? Wait for it,  I BELIEVED THEM! 

Yes,  like many of you ladies out there,  in my early 20’s I ran around, with the belief that I to can do what the big boys did, and shouldn’t be judged for it. HAHAHAHA!!!!! *slapping my knee*  Oh my poor naive soul!!! 

Do I still believe I shouldn’t be judged for all the sloring I did when I was 20. Absolutely.  Is that how it works, however? NOPE!!! 

And deny it all you want, but we know it’s true!

Where a man can get a way with MURDER in the dating-sphere . . . We woman can’t!

It sucks, but it is what it is!

I CRINGE at some of the people I’ve let (for lack of a better word) enter my sacred temple in the past, people that I wouldn’t so much as chance a second glance at, now that I got my “I am woman hear my roar” head, out of my ass . . .

So, yeah. . . even though I’ve gotten lucky, and to my knowledge,   DON’T get judged for certain things from my past, I still have to live with it! Whereas (in my opinion) I really don’t think guys have that same issue as often! Hence the penis Envy!

Thanks for reading and sorry so short! I plan to elaborate on this in the future! But I wanted to write something really quickly and dedicate it to one of my best’s Meli!!! 

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