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Humility Never Goes out of Style

8 Apr

So stay humble! That’s my message for today.

Why—where did this come from you wonder? Where else: Social Media.

Now, I don’t consider myself a Social Media junkie. Not in the least. I do have a Twitter, Facebook, and of course this blog … but that’s about it.

From time to time I’ll follow a friend’s Tumblr link. Look at a picture of something on pinterest, or stumble on something funny or informative on a friends livejournal……..

Okay, so maybe I’m a closet junkie—a lurker if you will.

But that’s okay … that’s what they’re there for after all, right?

Yes and No! Some people seem to have forgotten about the ‘Social’ part of social media.

Just go on Twitter. Go ahead—for a few minutes. Not to converse with anyone, but just to observe. Did you look? How many links did you notice vs. conversations? Not just spamming, but so many hashtags you thought someone was trying to bust out an epic game of tic-tac-toe?

How many “twitter celebrities” did you peep shouting “Follow back” “ifollow” etc. only they have thousands of followers, and are only following 10 people?

How many one-sided conversations did you see where the recipient is simply not responding?

A lot more of those than Socializing, huh?

Now check Facebook. Same thing? Not surprised.

It’s like a phenomenon I’ve noticed. (or has it always been that way and I’ve just never realized?) Where pod people have invaded what’s supposed to be fun ways to connect with others for … what? Personal gain? Ego boosting? Sales and marketing?

Now, I respect the hustle. These sites are a sure fire way to ‘get the word out’ about your products, skills, etc. but it seems a lot of people want something, but don’t give back in return. Why oh WHY would I ever RT your –spam– promo link when you haven’t said a word to me, or anyone else for that matter. Ever. If all your TL shows is the same tweet or post over and over. You’re clearly a robot or have scheduled the same tweet with no intention on helping anyone but yourself. That makes you lazy. It also makes you very lame and selfish. (Sorry, yeah I went there).

This isn’t to say you should or have to follow everyone who follows you (Twitter has limits on how many you can follow anyway) or repost everyone of your friend’s tumblr’s or pins (whatever you call it) or like all their statuses, and pics, and links and I’m just getting a headache thinking about it ’cause some people just OD… But when you’re like that with everyone? Thinking you’re just too good … Lifts up a judging eyebrow at you.

Not cool.

In this day and age there are a lot of people making being an asshole seem like the ‘in thing to do’… they’re lying to you. Kanye gets away with it ’cause he’s Kanye. And really how many people can even stand him anymore? (Sorry to call you out, my dude. But you know you’re a dick sometimes) …

I follow an author on Facebook who has over 200k likes on her page… She somehow finds time to communicate with as many readers as she can… offering advice etc. or just answering as a whole because … well, she’s not a machine and can’t answer everyone.

While I don’t follow many (if any celebrities on twitter) some of the people I follow have an upwards of tens of thousands of followers. One no name guy has over 80k followers—don’t ask me how he got them (though he also follows that much) and if you scroll down his TL (not all of his tweets are savory) he’s not a bot and actually has conversations with many different people.

Those are just two examples, but it’s just the point that it makes me scratch my head when nobodies act like they’re … well, somebody. Is this post bordering on harsh? Catty, even? Shrugs probably, but I felt the need to say it.

Arrogance isn’t admirable.

The cockiness isn’t cute.

If you think you’re too good to be social—chances are you’re not.

I don’t care what your title is. Being humble earns more respect any day of the week in my book.

Why Are Women Sexist Toward Women?

12 Feb

Sexism is defined as “Prejudice or discrimination based on sex.” According to Merriam-Webster online dictionary. That is.

***

 

With that in mind—I have to admit that— I do have a form of sexism toward women. I say a form because, in my eyes, everything exists on different levels.

My fault is: I hold women to too high of standards when it comes to certain professions.

It’s true.

When I see a woman “breaking the mold” so to speak, making it in a field mostly dominated by men—my need to be able to shout “YOU GO GIRL!” at the top of my lungs, comes with unrealistic expectations, and I can admit that.

For example, when I see women succeed, I cheer! Hard! I dance, and applaud and smile, and say she got one for the team! My support is unwavering and when they fail, it hurts me deeply for them.

Now, the downfall of this is where my ‘sexism’ comes into play. Just because I support it, or you, as a woman—doesn’t mean I personally like you. And like I said, my expectations are high. Even higher than it is for men.

Does that make sense?

For example—there are certain female actresses, singers, authors, dancers, movie producers, athletes … really, you name it, that I can’t stand the sight of their faces or the mention of their names.

I’m human—don’t judge me.

In my eyes they have to come harder, come brighter, write better, and play stronger than the average person. I’m a women after all, and I expect the best from my kind.

So when women expect a chance, expect the kudos, and expect certain opportunities just because they’re a woman—it really want to smack the taste out of their mouths. Affectionately of course  😉

Because I see it’s gotten to the point where a lot of women expect things to be handed to them because they have vagina’s, NOT because they’ve worked for them.

I’m not sure where this sense of entitlement has come from.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want them to succeed? Quite the opposite, actually, as a woman I need them to succeed.

But am I wrong for not liking them? No.

Am I wrong for not fangirling and fawning over whatever they put out? No. I don’t think so.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is it wrong if I were to say completely withdraw my support for an institution because of a specific woman—just because she’s a woman. You bet your ass it is!

See … I’m not one of the people who expect others to simply fall in line under the guise of camaraderie. (You can save your fake support for someone who has time for the fakery)… You don’t need to like me just because anatomically we’re forced to share the same public bathroom.

And I personally don’t like the idea that I have to support someone, be there for them, or even like their nonsense just because they’re a woman.

No for the women who want equality, they can stand to not be liked just like anyone else.

But for those who feel like withdrawing their support just because this person is a woman … well, I feel sorry for them.

I would really hate for the day when someone doesn’t like you, or support you just because you don’t have a dick.

Shame ain’t it?

 

Do you like me? Check Yes or No! #Blog Challenge Day 6

27 Jan

The person you like and why you like them …

Oh, where to begin–where to begin???

Well, for starters, let me preface this by saying I’m currently not “In like” with anyone. ‘Tis sad but true!

I mean … there’s this one guy! He’s my kryptonite and after a few years (see decades) I still haven’t been able to shake him, but I hardly think he counts anymore. I’ve resigned myself to the fact he and I will live in a constant state of “what if” until we’re old and gray, and married to other people!

Anyway!

This question made me think of the simple days, ya know! Before life and dating made us  hip to the feelings of hardcore rejection, hurt and betrayal. When going out on a limb wasn’t met with so much fear. When shit wasn’t so damn complicated!

We have A MILLION ways to communicate now a days! Ways in which some of us couldn’t fathom when we were younger. I mean … some of  us were pretty sure the world would end LONG before we got a cell phone that can do magic tricks! (Oh, your phone doesn’t do that? Get on board–’cause mine can fly!!! … I kid, I kid).

I miss these days :

 

Things weren’t as hard–WE didn’t make things so hard. It was simple, do you like me? Yes or No!?

We didn’t know about playing hard to get.

Past experiences didn’t make us scared, bitter and/or un-trusting.

Our hearts were pure! Eager for love and friendship! Wanting to cut to the chase.

But now, we have email, Skype, Twitter, Facebook, Cell phones, Cell phone APP’s, Instant messengers, Morse code, smoke signals–really the list goes on!  And of course we can’t forget blogs!  (you have no idea how many blogs I found dedicated just to people writing letters to their exes)

Yet, I think, sadly, our generation is the worst when it comes to communication.

How many people do you know who, when asked their relationship status, hits you with an, “It’s complicated?”

Every situation is different, yada-yada–but in the end I miss the days where it boiled down to the simple question.— Do you like me, yes or no?

Yes= we’re together now or friends.

No= let us know not to waste our times and move on to someone who wants us in their lives.

The memories.

 

Day 5: 5 things that irritate

26 Jan

Day 5:

… Or something like that!

5 things that irritate you about the opposite sex/same sex

Firstly, there is no way for me to answer this that won’t come out, in some way shape or form, like I’m man-bashing! And as for what I hate about women-folk, same rules apply! It’ll look like I really, and I mean reaaaallllyyyy, don’t like my own kind.

(I’ll plead the fifth on whether or not that’s actually the case or not)

Dave Chappelle is the man! 

Pic found on funnycorner.net

So how about I just highlight some things I don’t like about people in general??

1. The Lying Game

I don’t like people’s propensity to lie! We all tell white lies–to a degree. Maybe even omit the truth to spare someone’s feelings. But full out lies, betrayal?  Can’t stand it. Don’t see the point of it.

2. A case of mistaken identity.

Who ARE you exactly? If by a certain age, you still don’t know and are trying to find yourself– I’m all set with you! This doesn’t mean “re-inventing.” We all go through things, that might warrant a few change ups of ourselves to get through a bad time. Or realize things haven’t been working one way, so we try plan B. But if you still have no idea who you are, after you’ve been walking the earth for a few decades: We’re done here!

3. The Con-Artist

Maybe this goes with lying… I can’t be sure. But don’t just tell people what you know they want to hear to get something out of them! Not cool.

4. The perpetual whore who hates being  judged

Either own your whoredom, and shout it loud, “That you’re a whore and you’re proud!” OR close your legs and grow up. Simple as!

5. The passive aggressive motivational speaker 

“With all due respect …” Just STOP! Because everything that’s about to come out of your mouth is going to be disrespectful! You have something to say to someone? To a room full of people perhaps? Go for it! Just don’t hide behind words that are contradictory.

See even Willy Wonka called you out

 

THANK YOU FOR READING: FEEL FREE TO SHARE 5 THINGS THAT IRRITATE YOU ABOUT PEOPLE 🙂

Save the Facebook drama for your mama!

16 Jan

 

I’ve come to a realization (seems a normal occurrence for me these days, huh?) That I am by far a bigger bitch in real life than I will ever be online…

In real life– I detest drama, but when the time comes I’ll admit, I don’t shy away from a [healthy] argument. Its good for the soul. And I have no shame admitting I’m one of those people who: come hell or high water, if I have a point–SOMEONE is gonna hear it! I don’t even care if the argument was over hours ago, either. 😀

But online!? Sorry to break the bad news, but no matter how much you shouty caps at someone you won’t caps lock them to death. It doesn’t make your point come across clearer, and really just makes you look like a dumb ass… #dontkillthemessenger — I’m just saying!!

I can hear an argument going on in real life and not bat an eyelash… See two people throwing down and walk by them as if its an everyday thing, but online?

Ohhhh!!!
Nothing will make me run for the metaphorical hills (aka unfriend, unfollow, block, ignore) someone quicker than the ever present bitch fests and cat fights! I’m allergic to online mayhem: it literally makes me cringe and grimace.

Obviously, we all have our moments and days where we really just need to let out a good rant… But after that, most of us move the hell on!

Some people though– wowzers!! Really, what they need is Dr. Phil. Not a slew of online friends, who don’t really know them, giving a shit ton of useless advice they haven’t and would never use themselves!

Which brings me to my next point of just … Really?! WHO exactly are you arguing with? *scratches chin* that person whose only connection to you is the fact you’ve clicked ‘like’ on some of the same pictures or post?! Maybe commented on the same thread!? Wow, ya’ll go way back, huh?

This is another reason I’m more prone to bitch someone out in RL rather than online.  My friends and family know me.  They know my quirks, ins and outs, what makes me tick–and at the end of day: That we’ll move past our arguments ’cause deep down we love each other. For real!

Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and all that isn’t real to me. You only know someone (for real) when they’re a constant present in your everyday real life. And even then you only know so much.

If I have an issue with someone that just needs to be hashed out– I’ll email them, call, text, skype, pm etc. If I don’t have the means to contact them in those other ways: the reality is I probably don’t know them well enough to get into online scuffles with them in the first place.

So when you just have that urge to ‘put someone in their place’ and I mean ALL THE TIME– please realize you’re not a Facebook Thug and no one fears you.

We roll our eyes.

Laugh at you.

Then while un-friending and blocking– we do both of the above.

Challenge Accepted!! Day 1

15 Jan

While perusing the highlights of twitter on my morning break today–I came across a tweet where a fellow blogger posted a “30 Day Challenge” for herself!!

What did I do?– What any self-respecting annoying person would do: totally inserted myself into her challenge! 🙂

I kid, I kid…

Lala over at “Seasons Change, and so have I” Blog re-tweeted me and instead of asking me to mind my own God damned business, she asked if I planned on doing the challenge with her!

I said, “But of course.”  Or something like that, so here we are! 🙂

30 day list

 

 

Day 1: Weird things you do when you’re alone . . .

** Well . . . being that we’re living in the 21st century (or is it 22nd now? Idk–what with the world always ending, I lost track) and all–masturbating is no longer considered weird–at least I don’t think.

So let’s go with a close second.

I talk to myself. Like . . . alot! And out loud.

I mean, I don’t get into full-out arguments with myself, that I can recall, but I’ve been known to partake in some serious discussions with me, myself, and I.

To the point where people who I live with (but mainly my sister) have been prone to come to my room just to ask me, “Who the hell are you talking to?”

It’s actually quite annoying, when I’m interrupted, but I digress.

….

**Another thing I do??

I Youtube clips of people falling, getting scared, and pranks gone wrong– just to name a few!

I don’t know why, but there’s something just too damn entertaining about it I can’t help myself.

This video is one of my all times faves!

 

Don’t cry for her, Argentina! She made dollars of this shit. Got to several talk shows when this came out, too! Her feelings won’t be hurt that she’s brought so much joy into people’s hearts this many years later!

I’m sure I can name a ton more . . . but alas, that’ll have to do for now!

Sooo . . . are you up for the challenge?

And what weird shit do YOU do when you’re alone? It’s okay . . . you can tell me *wink*

You can follow Lala  on (Twitter)

and me as well 🙂 Twitter 

YOU are your competition

10 Jan

On your mark . . . get set . . . wait–how about we just walk together!?

Throughout “life” we learn a lot about people but mostly, hopefully, we learn about ourselves, too!

One thing I’ve learned–and am constantly reminded of–is that I’m not a “competitive” person.

I don’t see the point.

Now … I don’t think this applies to situations when sports are involved, or let’s say two students  are vying for ONE scholarship, for example.

There are times when competition (friendly or not) is not only expected, but required!

There are other times, however, where it’s so uncalled for; when it rears it’s ugly head it makes people–like me who don’t see the need–look around, scratch their head and go, “Huh?!”

We all want success. We all want someone, anyone, and sometimes several people to tell us our goals and aspirations aren’t crazy or unattainable. The validation that WE ARE good enough. Being your own cheerleader isn’t always enough.

So how about being a cheerleader for others? Telling them “good job” and pressing forward when they’ve reached a plateau you wanted or maybe still want.

How about keeping your head up, licking your wounds and working your ass off ’til YOUR days comes and those same people you cheered for can return the favor and be in your support system. Your very own cheering section.

Here’s something else I’ve learned.

Some people do things because they love it, but come against, and in contact with those who have ulterior motives. Maybe it’s hard to watch those people succeed. Maybe you feel someone else (you, a family member, or friend) is more deserving. But at the end of the day, this may be hard to hear, but SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE clearly disagrees.

She got the part.

He scored that agent.

She doesn’t deserve that man.

He isn’t good enough for her.

They got that award.

Someone decided that person earned, or deserved what they got.

Rarely are things simply handed to people these days.

Most importantly what I’ve learned:

If shine is what you seek: Trust–there’s enough shine to go around. Period. Maybe this person’s light shines a little brighter. But look around, someone probably thinks the same thing about you. You might be blinding someone right now.

I don’t care what anyone says. YOU are your competition. YOU should strive to get better for YOU. It shouldn’t be about him, her, them or they.

Don’t waste time comparing yourself to others and looking at them as “competition” . . . that’s weak. It doesn’t matter how they got to where they are—They’re there! If that’s where you want to be . . . start looking at them as inspiration.

It’ll save you a lot more time.

~Lory

Twitter: @lolosofocused

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