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Big girls DO cry

27 Feb

… We all do.

And, honestly, I’m kind of done pretending that I don’t.

Earlier today (on my respective Facebook’s  I posted a status that read:

“Even people with the “toughest skin” or shoulders who can inexplicably let things roll off of them aren’t immune to feelings of hurt, frustration, or disappointment in reaction to someone’s comments or behavior. It has nothing to do with being weak, or letting them get to you. It’s about being human and knowing how you should be treated. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

Do I agree that in life we have to learn to take the good with the bad?  The constructive criticisms, right along with praise, and hate? Yes, of course. But to an extent.

We can never and should never try to please everyone we come in contact with. Whether that be online or in everyday life. It’s an impossible task. Don’t set yourself up for that kind of failure.

However, should people just accept someone’s comments, rude behavior, and downright spiteful, vindictive and catty remarks? No. I don’t believe so.

To me, when you tell someone that they aren’t allowed to have some sort of reaction, or feel a certain way about someone else’s words, it’s as though you’re telling them to forget they’re human.

That they should just ignore people’s words because they have a right to say what they want. Not everyone is gonna like you.

Whatever.

Why? Explain to me WHY we’re not allowed to feel the pang of hurt. Frown or maybe shed a tear when someone hurts our feelings? I don’t understand.

Does this mean the second someone disagrees with you that it’s time to fly off the handle, vent and cry just because they don’t love or hate the same thing as you?

Come on. Obviously not.

But why pretend?

I can let a lot— and I mean A LOT —of things roll off my shoulder. Laugh in someone’s face when they try and get at me. Or even pretend something wasn’t said or done to me at all.

But catch me at the wrong day or time. Catch me when life is just shitting on me in more ways than one. When I have nothing in me to ignore.

What do I do? … I cry.

And I vent.

And I mope.

And letting it all out sometimes feels damn good.

Do I move on? Of course, we HAVE TO. There’s no sense in dwelling on it forever. Or letting it fester to the point it consumes you  and turns you into that same hateful person to others, as the person who made you feel like poo.

But I gain nothing in pretending I’m not human.

Pretending I don’t have feelings.

Acting like I don’t get disappointed if something I say or do isn’t well received. If someone I know is acting all out themselves.

I treat others with as much love and respect as possible.

And when I don’t get that in return—it hurts. It leaves me confused and frustrated. It makes me question things. It makes me question myself.

Does that make me weak in some people’s eyes? Perhaps.

But it makes me real.

Just Say … Whatever you want to say to Drugs

6 Feb

So the next question of the challenge is in regards to my view on “Drugs and Alcohol.”

Riiiigggggghhhttt . . . Umm–is it passive aggressive for me to say I don’t have a view on it? ‘Cause I don’t.

Maybe I should. Maybe I should use this as a platform to spout all the FDA regulations, the laws, the consequences on your body and blah, blah, blah.

But I won’t.

I can’t.

Because I’m not your mother.

It’s 2013; though this argument stands true for the past decade or so. “This is your brain; this is your brain on drugs.” Remember those commercials… I do!

Gone are the days where they “unknowingly” put Cocaine in coca-cola products; not knowing it’s addictive nature and such.

We ALL know, by now, the result drugs  can have on your body. Your life. And those around you.

I don’t support drugs (or not-support them) any more than I do smoking cigarettes. Because, not sure if your heard, but whispers, “Smoking causes lung cancer.”

Why I never . . .

Exactly!

We know, we all know, what the deal is. Yet, they do it anyway. It’s not my job to spout my views on the topic. I don’t do drugs. I know people who have. People who’ve become addicted, people who’ve only done it socially, and yes people who’ve sold it.

Was it hard to see them suffer through this “addiction” and “disease”—yes it was. But it was even harder for me to sympathize when they lost people who loved them, or worse : ended  up in jail. WHY? ‘Cause they knew what they were getting themselves into and did it anyway!

So my view … if you know what it’s going to do to you, but you choose to do it anyway … well, you know the saying you’ve made your bed now you have to lie in it? Yup!

That’s my stance! What’s yours?

Don’t worry . . . sometimes people just cheat

27 Jan

I’m combining the topics for day 7 and 8 today!

Day 7: Your opinion on cheating on people 

I can’t with this topic today! I had a very emotional conversation with someone from my past, and I’m way too spent to think about exes, and cheating and why people do it. Funnily enough, I just discussed this with a fellow blogger just yesterday … and really people cheat because they can. That’s how I see it. If you want to take a look at a man’s perspective of things, feel free to check out this blog post by: Date Advice Guy

Day 8: Something you’re currently worrying about!?

EVERYTHING!! 

Honestly, I’m a worry wart right now. I worry about my friends well-being. I worry about my families health. I worry about my career–where I’ll be in 5 years. If I’ll end up alone. Really, I’m in a morose mood 😦 so I’m just worrying!

YEAH THIS IS WHERE I’M AT TODAY

 

Sorry ya’ll didn’t get the peppy, sarcastic, and snarky/smart-assish Lolo … we all have our days, right!?

 

Day 5: 5 things that irritate

26 Jan

Day 5:

… Or something like that!

5 things that irritate you about the opposite sex/same sex

Firstly, there is no way for me to answer this that won’t come out, in some way shape or form, like I’m man-bashing! And as for what I hate about women-folk, same rules apply! It’ll look like I really, and I mean reaaaallllyyyy, don’t like my own kind.

(I’ll plead the fifth on whether or not that’s actually the case or not)

Dave Chappelle is the man! 

Pic found on funnycorner.net

So how about I just highlight some things I don’t like about people in general??

1. The Lying Game

I don’t like people’s propensity to lie! We all tell white lies–to a degree. Maybe even omit the truth to spare someone’s feelings. But full out lies, betrayal?  Can’t stand it. Don’t see the point of it.

2. A case of mistaken identity.

Who ARE you exactly? If by a certain age, you still don’t know and are trying to find yourself– I’m all set with you! This doesn’t mean “re-inventing.” We all go through things, that might warrant a few change ups of ourselves to get through a bad time. Or realize things haven’t been working one way, so we try plan B. But if you still have no idea who you are, after you’ve been walking the earth for a few decades: We’re done here!

3. The Con-Artist

Maybe this goes with lying… I can’t be sure. But don’t just tell people what you know they want to hear to get something out of them! Not cool.

4. The perpetual whore who hates being  judged

Either own your whoredom, and shout it loud, “That you’re a whore and you’re proud!” OR close your legs and grow up. Simple as!

5. The passive aggressive motivational speaker 

“With all due respect …” Just STOP! Because everything that’s about to come out of your mouth is going to be disrespectful! You have something to say to someone? To a room full of people perhaps? Go for it! Just don’t hide behind words that are contradictory.

See even Willy Wonka called you out

 

THANK YOU FOR READING: FEEL FREE TO SHARE 5 THINGS THAT IRRITATE YOU ABOUT PEOPLE 🙂

Challenge Day 4

24 Jan

I lost a few days ’cause of the suspension but let’s pick up where we left off with the 30 Day Challenge!!!

Day 4:

(. . . or something like that–but who’s counting!? )

What you wear to bed.

I imagine, with this kind of question, being a guy would have more impact in the answer. Or at the very least the phrasing of the question would be sexier. After all, ALL woman have been guilty of purring out a, “So what do you wear? Boxers or briefs?”

 Boxers and briefs

^^^ This picture actually scares me!

Ideally, my answer would be something like, “Oh, baby–I sleep nekked.” Or maybe, “T-shirt and panties.” Ala Adina Howard (song reference) . . .

But really–the answer is, whatever I get my hands on first. Or it depends on the temperature.

If it’s scorching hot. I’m liable to throw myself on the bed, butt naked, spread eagle.

If it’s cold. I might look a little something like this :

 Brrrr

Bbbbrrrrrrr!!!!

Annnddd that’s really all there is to that!

So . . . to make this post not completely asinine; here’s a list of what your sleepwear says about you! From Youqueen.com

That’s all!

*Kisses*

~Lo

Twitter: @lolosofocused

Challenge: Day 2 and 3

18 Jan

So, I mentioned the day before yesterday in this post that I’m participating in a fellow bloggers Challenge.

If you click the link you will find the “topic” for each of the thirty days 🙂

Since I didn’t get a chance to get this out yesterday–I’ve combined two days! Kinda like when you miss a birth control pill… (Let’s not pretend you can’t relate, ladies) Moving on!

 

Day 2: How have you changed in the past 2 years?

I can go so many different ways with this . . . because at first glance, I thought: Damn, HAVE I changed in the past two years? I had to really think about this.

Two years may seem like nothing to some, but A LOT can happen in two years. Shit–a lot can happen in 2 days or 2 hours– So 2 years is a lifetime.

In the past two years, the thing that’s changed the most about me is: I’ve learned a hell of a lot about humility. I’m not an arrogant person, never have been–never will be. But I am stubborn as hell when it comes to my ‘Independence’. No need to get into it, most of you know about my health issues by now.

So sucking it up and knowing when to ask for help, has been my biggest change aka improvement. Well . . . I think it’s an improvement.

 

Day 3: What kind of person attracts you?

So . . . yeah–I like a guy with a sense of humor, nice smile, good heart and all that good stuff. But it wouldn’t hurt if he ever looked like any of these guys while he’s at it!

Channing Chris-Hemsworth-shirtless-Down-Under devin-thomas-3 shemar

Sooooo …. how have YOU changed in the past two years, and what kind of person attracts you?? Don’t worry; I won’t tell! :-p

If you ever need me >> Twitter: @Lolosofocused

Save the Facebook drama for your mama!

16 Jan

 

I’ve come to a realization (seems a normal occurrence for me these days, huh?) That I am by far a bigger bitch in real life than I will ever be online…

In real life– I detest drama, but when the time comes I’ll admit, I don’t shy away from a [healthy] argument. Its good for the soul. And I have no shame admitting I’m one of those people who: come hell or high water, if I have a point–SOMEONE is gonna hear it! I don’t even care if the argument was over hours ago, either. 😀

But online!? Sorry to break the bad news, but no matter how much you shouty caps at someone you won’t caps lock them to death. It doesn’t make your point come across clearer, and really just makes you look like a dumb ass… #dontkillthemessenger — I’m just saying!!

I can hear an argument going on in real life and not bat an eyelash… See two people throwing down and walk by them as if its an everyday thing, but online?

Ohhhh!!!
Nothing will make me run for the metaphorical hills (aka unfriend, unfollow, block, ignore) someone quicker than the ever present bitch fests and cat fights! I’m allergic to online mayhem: it literally makes me cringe and grimace.

Obviously, we all have our moments and days where we really just need to let out a good rant… But after that, most of us move the hell on!

Some people though– wowzers!! Really, what they need is Dr. Phil. Not a slew of online friends, who don’t really know them, giving a shit ton of useless advice they haven’t and would never use themselves!

Which brings me to my next point of just … Really?! WHO exactly are you arguing with? *scratches chin* that person whose only connection to you is the fact you’ve clicked ‘like’ on some of the same pictures or post?! Maybe commented on the same thread!? Wow, ya’ll go way back, huh?

This is another reason I’m more prone to bitch someone out in RL rather than online.  My friends and family know me.  They know my quirks, ins and outs, what makes me tick–and at the end of day: That we’ll move past our arguments ’cause deep down we love each other. For real!

Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and all that isn’t real to me. You only know someone (for real) when they’re a constant present in your everyday real life. And even then you only know so much.

If I have an issue with someone that just needs to be hashed out– I’ll email them, call, text, skype, pm etc. If I don’t have the means to contact them in those other ways: the reality is I probably don’t know them well enough to get into online scuffles with them in the first place.

So when you just have that urge to ‘put someone in their place’ and I mean ALL THE TIME– please realize you’re not a Facebook Thug and no one fears you.

We roll our eyes.

Laugh at you.

Then while un-friending and blocking– we do both of the above.

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