Tag Archives: Career

Flaming- What’s the point?

5 Jul

For the LIFE OF ME … I can not understand the point in flaming people!

For those who may not know what a flame is— in the literary world it’s an intentionally hurtful/ malice review on someone’s body of work. I don’t know if that’s the actual definition, but you get the picture.

Now, this isn’t to be confused with politely and in a constructive way voicing your dislike for something or your opposing viewpoint of something.  After all not every book, blog, magazine article etc. is compiled with everyone in mind.

I, for one, have never read the Wall St. Journal, and probably never will.

Therefore, I am not the target audience.  So a flamer, to me, is someone who goes out scouting material not meant for them— in which they already know they will not like—all for the purpose of bashing the authors and their integrity, creativity, character, education, you name it—they bash it.

So this is what I ask: What’s the point?

What do you flamers get out of leaving nasty and hurtful reviews for people? Is it something that helps you sleep better at night? Make you feel big like you accomplished something? Do you feel like you’re doing a public service and speaking out for the weaklings who might not “have the balls to admit that they are really thinking?”

This is all kidding aside… I am DYING to understand it.

Now, I’ll admit I’ve been pretty lucky. With the exception of a few people stating that my characters may be a bitch, dense, or vapid … or that my blog has no rhyme or reason to it (*snort* I already told people my blog is about everything and nothing but whatever) … No one has come through and ripped me to the core in how much my family sucks, how I’m going to hell, or how I should never write again. (I’m sure that will change but whatever)

However, something people on the outside tend not to realize is that we bloggers, writers, etc.  are VERY much protective of each other because in simple terms: We know the struggle.

So, no, I haven’t gotten the worst of the flaming (yet) but having to see, read, or hear about fellow writers and bloggers going through this,  I feel it and again: I will never understand the point.

Yes, we put our works and thoughts out there to be judge and criticized, I get it, and it’s the nature of the beast. But to tell someone you don’t like their story or characters, or their blog— is not to tell them how horrible of a person they are, or how they or their families will rot in hell, or to threaten them or WORSE … when they post about a tragic event on a blog for you to call them LIARS, hate on them, or wish harm on them and their families during a tragic time.

For those who don’t know what it’s like … I would love for you to live inside the mind of a writer (aspiring or not) just for one day and see if you can come out on the other side sane. Those characters you read about—the ones you love to hate, or hate to the love? That murderer, that victim— yeah, they all lived in our minds for an insurmountable amount of time before we were able to put them on paper. You don’t like them fine. But you don’t know the man or woman behind the screen, the story that we may have lost sleep or shed tears over. Yet you sit behind your anonymity and exist solely to tear us down.

So I am asking, begging, for you all to enlighten me. As most flamers tend to hide behind their screens, never wanting to reveal their identities—have no fears you don’t have to sign in to comment under my posts.

I mean, GOD FORBID you have to actually take back the shit you dish out, huh?

Isn’t she lovely? Isn’t she wonderful ….

29 Jun

Didn’t think I meant it when I said I’d be right back, huh? Well HA! 🙂

OK!!! I would like to thank the Awesomeness that is YYChristian over at The Key’s to attraction blog for nominating me for the “One Lovely Blog” Award! I don’t think I can gush enough about his blog, But I’m gonna attempt it!!

Fella’s! PLEASE for the love of all that is good in the eyes of single women– PLEASE check out his blog! And ladies please show him some love to… He’s trying to help school the men folk, on just about everything on the do’s and don’ts of … well everything! And he does a damn good job at it. *Whispers, “He must double check with the ladies on some things ’cause he’s a little too spot on with some of the advice.”* 😉

Moving right along!

As with Every Award you know what times it is!

So here are the rules!

* Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post.

* Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.

* Nominate fifteen or so bloggers you admire.

* Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know and link back to them

Part 1-

7 things about Lolo (I may have already said some of these things before, but *shrugs* that must mean I really want you to know them).

1. I’m the youngest of three … (and the super annoying younger sister).

2. I’ve lived in Florida, Massachusetts, New York, and Haiti

3. I’m in my 20’s <— (That’s all you’re gonna get) lol

4. I’m afraid of the dark! (Things go bump in the night after all)

5. I hate, hate, HATE squirrels. (This I know I’ve said before, but it deserves mention twice. I just don’t understand why the little bastards exist).

6. I’ve seen more cooter than all the men I know combined! (I used to bar tend/waitress at a strip club).

7. The only sport I watch is Soccer.

Bonus: Since I jipped ya with bringing the squirrels up again

8. I played the clarinet for 4 years, but my brother made me quit when I got into high school!

Part 2-


This might seem like a total cop-out … but in all fairness– this go round, I can’t pick! Really I follow so many blogs, and they all have so many things to offer that I won’t be able to decide. (Especially since I’ve been MIA for almost 2 weeks and a lot can change during that time you know).

Instead, I would just like to turn this back over to you guys! Thank you SO much for always providing me with laughs and smiles! From writing advice, to dating advice, to all around randomness … There really are some awesome bloggers on WordPress!!!!! Please check them out, and when you find a hidden gem of a blog that needs some recognition … pass along these awards to let them know how awesome they are and how much you appreciate them! 🙂


You can follow me on Twitter: @lolosofocused

Blogging Failure Award!

29 Jun

OK! … Obviously such an award doesn’t exist … but if it did? Yeah, I would reward it to myself!!! SMH!

I don’t know how you guys put up with me– seriously– but for some reason (despite my random absences– which only happen for about a week or 2 at a time but feel like forever) I always find more likes, followers etc. You guys are awesome and I just wanna kiss you silly!!!

Well, unless you have bad breath …  ’cause that’s just kinda gross ya know??

ANYWAY!!! Thank you for always sticking it out with me!! And I want to give a massive thank you to YYChristian who nominated me for the “One Lovely Blog Award” which I will post about as soon as we’re done here!!

But just a quick update on me if you’re wondering … Ready?

NOTHING IN MY LIFE HAS CHANGED!! Lmao… Yeah, sorry but it’s still the same ish as before… Still looking for a job and all that jazz.

Oh, wait— that’s a lie… There IS something new!


Now, I’m pretty sure I’ve moaned, whined, and bitched about my useless degree that means little to nothing in the small town I now live in. But as I sit day in and day out sending out Resume’s, harassing people over the phone, writing fanfiction, and wasting away on Facebook… I realized well … why not: Send out resume’s, write fanfiction, harass employer’s over the phone, and accomplish nothing on FB- WHILE getting another degree?

Aren’t I brilliant? Probably not. There’s a good chance I’ll completely regret wasting a dime on going back to school, but sometimes the FEELING that you’re accomplishing something is enough to keep you going… Feel me?

Soooo … how have YOU guys been doing?? 😀

As usual– if you ever need me– you can find me on Twitter @lolosofocused

I Got a Pocket, Got a Pocket full of SUNSHINE AWARD

30 May


It always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, when I find out people actually read “Ranting on the Lolo” — Thank yoYYChristian for nominating me for the Sunshine Award and always putting a smile on face! 

Please check out his blog: Keys to Attraction:  Your Guide To Seduction And All Things Sexy

Here are the rules for the award:

  • Include the award’s logo in a post or on your blog. √ Check!
  • Answer 10 questions about yourself. √ Check!
  • Nominate other fabulous bloggers. √ Check!
  • Link your nominees to this post and comment on their blogs, letting them know they have been nominated. √ Check! {I linked them}
  • Share the love and link the person who nominated you. √ Mutha-effin-CHECK!!!

What is a favorite childhood memory? — Summer movie marathons with my siblings and my cousins. Back when I was able to watch 10 scary movies in a row and still sleep at night! 😛 

What is a real fear you have? Other than the dark – ‘cause I’m really afraid of the dark— my biggest fear lately is never finding true love and all that stuff I read (and write) about!
How would you describe yourself? One word: Awesome 😀

What Countries have you lived in? United States of America, Haiti
What is your style? Errr… If we’re talking about fashion… I just like to match. I don’t think I fall into a particular category.
What is your favorite breakfast food? Cold pizza or left over take out… Means I had a GREAT night! 😉
What are some of your hobbies? Reading, writing, blogging, listening to music, annoying my sister.
If you could tell people anything, what would be the most important thing to say? I would tell people they need to enjoy every moment that they can and don’t sweat the small stuff… Life is too short!
What is one of your passions? Breathing! I love to breathe… ‘cause if I wasn’t breathing, we’d have some serious problems! :-p But seriously, writing. My passion is writing and I’m trying my hardest to get back into like I used to be.
What is the one truth you have learned? I guess going back to #8- I definitely learned the hard way that every second counts. I don’t ever want to be in the position, again, where I can’t do tomorrow, the things I took for granted today.

And here are my 10 nominees:



Online Dating Journal

Just Call me Raegen

Bending God’s Ear



SpudNuts World of the Unusual 

Kate Policani

 Find Gravity

*For my fellow FanFiction peeps*


 I read many wonderful blogs and it was hard choosing just 10… So I did my best to pull a few from each category… From writing, to dating, to overall humor! Check them out! Leave them some love! and Enjoy!!

If You’re Going to Advertise for a job- PICK UP your Phone

15 May

So this is basically a continuation of my post about my EXHAUSTING job search, I first discussed on –You Know Times are Rough when The Porn Shop Doesn’t Call you Back!

Update: I STILL haven’t found a job.

And to be honest… It’s messing with my head at the moment.

I call.

I email.

I all but HARASS and still nothing! Nada! Zilch!

I’m starting to feel like that annoying ex that you just can’t get off your back! Only difference is NO ONE’S gotten any form of pleasure from my encounters.

The porn shop fell off my radar.

The cemetery never called back.

And now the Y is taunting me with constantly posting but NOT answering their phones… Though the Ad clearly request that you “Call for information” and not email poster, blah blah blah.

As you can see… and as I’ve mentioned… I am NOT picky- But I AM about to lose my mind!

Don’t even get me STARTED on how thankful I am that I went to college for what feels like NOTHING but what I’m sure is a shot liver!!!

So seriously… If anyone has any advice or some sort of words of encouragement, this would be the time to share them- Because I’M OVER IT!!!

*This has been a certified Rant from Lolo*


2 May

Yeah… that’s me telling myself to snap the hell out of it!

I don’t know what happened… Today started off like any other day, with me in a good mood and a smile on my face.  I blogged, perused the career websites, got some writing done on my stories, hung out with my sister and made some new friends on Facebook and Twitter. All was right with the world…

Until it wasn’t.

One minute I’m happy and smiling then the next, well, all I want to do is climb into bed while crying around a mouth full of ice cream about how unfair life is and why doesn’t anyone love me! (Don’t ask)… Again, I have no idea what happened.

Then I started reading some fellow bloggers post. One talking about her daughter getting sick, another who wrote a tribute to an Ex that passed. (been there and done that twice so I know how she feels. RIP) And then, after that, all I wanted to do was yell at myself.

Whatever the hell my problem was, things could be a lot worse. I’m alive, and back on the path of being healthy and I should be happy with that, instead of letting some outside force bring me down.

Now, this isn’t going to be where I start waxing poetic to you guys, about the art of appreciating the good in life and to be grateful for what you have. We all already know we should do that, and I HATE when people do that to me. (Mainly my Haitian relatives who seek any opportunity  to throw out proverbs about the guy with no feet and the blind guy who smelled the roses).

Some days, and forgive my crudeness, I couldn’t care less about that guy who doesn’t have this and that and yada yada, and I really just want to have my very own pity party and bask in the glory of my bad mood.

But then someday’s, like today, I want no-NEED to be reminded.

I need to see and hear the stories about just how bad things can really be! Or better yet think back to where I was just a few months ago, to bring me back out of it and more importantly… well I’m sure you guessed it, I need to know when to SHUT UP and quit COMPLAINING!!!

*This has been a certifiable rant from Lolo*– Thanks for reading!

Now, go and snap a friend out of their bad mood! Someone, somewhere is about to hop in bed with a gallon of Ice cream and a quick call/text/visit from you could brighten up their mood!

be PROUD don’t be IGNORANT

18 Mar

  I want to bring something to light that has been grating on my nerves for as long as I can remember. The, in my mind, UNECCESARY stigma associated with interracial dating.

Recently, I read on www.Bossip.com that rapper ICE-T (if you don’t know him Google him) who happens to married to a white woman, actress and model Coco, was quoted discussing that the reason Black Men marry and date outside their race more often then Black Woman (whether or not that’s true I don’t know) is because men more often appreciate the beauty of a woman despite their race, whereas black woman are the picky ones and are so dead set on ONLY dating black men that, THAT’s the reason their dating supply is so low. That’s not the direct quote but you get the idea.

For starters let’s me get this out of the way. I want to point out that yes I’m a strong black woman but I’m a strong WOMAN first and the ignorance of some comments from readers that followed the article partially shocked and partially disgusted me.

Taking race out of the equation, I don’t think people realize just how much they are degrading and disrespecting ALL races and cultures as well as both genders when they feel the need to point out and make someone feel bad about something as trivial as the tone of someone’s skin color. I mean yes, everyone and I do mean EVERYONE is entitled to their own beliefs but before you start spouting off that opinion to others make sure you aren’t contradicting yourself.

The same people (mostly ‘my people’) who are preaching, advocating and praying for equality are more often then not some of the first to cry blasphemy when a “brotha” or whatever chooses to be with someone of a different race.

Really? So basically that means you want equality but only when that applies to you right? Equality in the boardroom but not in the bedroom? (as a reader pointed out).

You don’t want to be looked at as less then but when someone of another race or culture see’s the beauty in us or more importantly see’s past it, all the sudden they’re selling out? Do you see how that doesn’t make sense? Why not take it a step further and say “not only do I not want you to date outside of your race I also don’t want you to be friends with someone outside of it either”.

To me that’s just another form of segregation. Don’t think so? Read the definition according to the Encarta Dictionary and tell me what the difference is. (Segregation : the practice of keeping ethnic, racial, religious, or gender groups separate.) Doesn’t sound so different now does it?

Everyone has their preferences I get and respect that. So my point is NOT  to make other’s feel bad if they are NOT attracted to another race. It is what it is!

But if YOU want to stick to your own race and culture that’s YOUR prerogative and good for YOU!If you want to be proud, as you should be, then by all means say it loud and be proud.

Just know there’s sometimes a thin line between  pride and self-righteousness as well as ignorance and racism because that’s EXACTLY how you’re being and what you’re promoting when you judge people who fall in love with a person’s heart or their smile rather then the level of melatonin in their skin.

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