Tag Archives: Friendships

Humility Never Goes out of Style

8 Apr

So stay humble! That’s my message for today.

Why—where did this come from you wonder? Where else: Social Media.

Now, I don’t consider myself a Social Media junkie. Not in the least. I do have a Twitter, Facebook, and of course this blog … but that’s about it.

From time to time I’ll follow a friend’s Tumblr link. Look at a picture of something on pinterest, or stumble on something funny or informative on a friends livejournal……..

Okay, so maybe I’m a closet junkie—a lurker if you will.

But that’s okay … that’s what they’re there for after all, right?

Yes and No! Some people seem to have forgotten about the ‘Social’ part of social media.

Just go on Twitter. Go ahead—for a few minutes. Not to converse with anyone, but just to observe. Did you look? How many links did you notice vs. conversations? Not just spamming, but so many hashtags you thought someone was trying to bust out an epic game of tic-tac-toe?

How many “twitter celebrities” did you peep shouting “Follow back” “ifollow” etc. only they have thousands of followers, and are only following 10 people?

How many one-sided conversations did you see where the recipient is simply not responding?

A lot more of those than Socializing, huh?

Now check Facebook. Same thing? Not surprised.

It’s like a phenomenon I’ve noticed. (or has it always been that way and I’ve just never realized?) Where pod people have invaded what’s supposed to be fun ways to connect with others for … what? Personal gain? Ego boosting? Sales and marketing?

Now, I respect the hustle. These sites are a sure fire way to ‘get the word out’ about your products, skills, etc. but it seems a lot of people want something, but don’t give back in return. Why oh WHY would I ever RT your –spam– promo link when you haven’t said a word to me, or anyone else for that matter. Ever. If all your TL shows is the same tweet or post over and over. You’re clearly a robot or have scheduled the same tweet with no intention on helping anyone but yourself. That makes you lazy. It also makes you very lame and selfish. (Sorry, yeah I went there).

This isn’t to say you should or have to follow everyone who follows you (Twitter has limits on how many you can follow anyway) or repost everyone of your friend’s tumblr’s or pins (whatever you call it) or like all their statuses, and pics, and links and I’m just getting a headache thinking about it ’cause some people just OD… But when you’re like that with everyone? Thinking you’re just too good … Lifts up a judging eyebrow at you.

Not cool.

In this day and age there are a lot of people making being an asshole seem like the ‘in thing to do’… they’re lying to you. Kanye gets away with it ’cause he’s Kanye. And really how many people can even stand him anymore? (Sorry to call you out, my dude. But you know you’re a dick sometimes) …

I follow an author on Facebook who has over 200k likes on her page… She somehow finds time to communicate with as many readers as she can… offering advice etc. or just answering as a whole because … well, she’s not a machine and can’t answer everyone.

While I don’t follow many (if any celebrities on twitter) some of the people I follow have an upwards of tens of thousands of followers. One no name guy has over 80k followers—don’t ask me how he got them (though he also follows that much) and if you scroll down his TL (not all of his tweets are savory) he’s not a bot and actually has conversations with many different people.

Those are just two examples, but it’s just the point that it makes me scratch my head when nobodies act like they’re … well, somebody. Is this post bordering on harsh? Catty, even? Shrugs probably, but I felt the need to say it.

Arrogance isn’t admirable.

The cockiness isn’t cute.

If you think you’re too good to be social—chances are you’re not.

I don’t care what your title is. Being humble earns more respect any day of the week in my book.

Big girls DO cry

27 Feb

… We all do.

And, honestly, I’m kind of done pretending that I don’t.

Earlier today (on my respective Facebook’s  I posted a status that read:

“Even people with the “toughest skin” or shoulders who can inexplicably let things roll off of them aren’t immune to feelings of hurt, frustration, or disappointment in reaction to someone’s comments or behavior. It has nothing to do with being weak, or letting them get to you. It’s about being human and knowing how you should be treated. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

Do I agree that in life we have to learn to take the good with the bad?  The constructive criticisms, right along with praise, and hate? Yes, of course. But to an extent.

We can never and should never try to please everyone we come in contact with. Whether that be online or in everyday life. It’s an impossible task. Don’t set yourself up for that kind of failure.

However, should people just accept someone’s comments, rude behavior, and downright spiteful, vindictive and catty remarks? No. I don’t believe so.

To me, when you tell someone that they aren’t allowed to have some sort of reaction, or feel a certain way about someone else’s words, it’s as though you’re telling them to forget they’re human.

That they should just ignore people’s words because they have a right to say what they want. Not everyone is gonna like you.

Whatever.

Why? Explain to me WHY we’re not allowed to feel the pang of hurt. Frown or maybe shed a tear when someone hurts our feelings? I don’t understand.

Does this mean the second someone disagrees with you that it’s time to fly off the handle, vent and cry just because they don’t love or hate the same thing as you?

Come on. Obviously not.

But why pretend?

I can let a lot— and I mean A LOT —of things roll off my shoulder. Laugh in someone’s face when they try and get at me. Or even pretend something wasn’t said or done to me at all.

But catch me at the wrong day or time. Catch me when life is just shitting on me in more ways than one. When I have nothing in me to ignore.

What do I do? … I cry.

And I vent.

And I mope.

And letting it all out sometimes feels damn good.

Do I move on? Of course, we HAVE TO. There’s no sense in dwelling on it forever. Or letting it fester to the point it consumes you  and turns you into that same hateful person to others, as the person who made you feel like poo.

But I gain nothing in pretending I’m not human.

Pretending I don’t have feelings.

Acting like I don’t get disappointed if something I say or do isn’t well received. If someone I know is acting all out themselves.

I treat others with as much love and respect as possible.

And when I don’t get that in return—it hurts. It leaves me confused and frustrated. It makes me question things. It makes me question myself.

Does that make me weak in some people’s eyes? Perhaps.

But it makes me real.

Why Are Women Sexist Toward Women?

12 Feb

Sexism is defined as “Prejudice or discrimination based on sex.” According to Merriam-Webster online dictionary. That is.

***

 

With that in mind—I have to admit that— I do have a form of sexism toward women. I say a form because, in my eyes, everything exists on different levels.

My fault is: I hold women to too high of standards when it comes to certain professions.

It’s true.

When I see a woman “breaking the mold” so to speak, making it in a field mostly dominated by men—my need to be able to shout “YOU GO GIRL!” at the top of my lungs, comes with unrealistic expectations, and I can admit that.

For example, when I see women succeed, I cheer! Hard! I dance, and applaud and smile, and say she got one for the team! My support is unwavering and when they fail, it hurts me deeply for them.

Now, the downfall of this is where my ‘sexism’ comes into play. Just because I support it, or you, as a woman—doesn’t mean I personally like you. And like I said, my expectations are high. Even higher than it is for men.

Does that make sense?

For example—there are certain female actresses, singers, authors, dancers, movie producers, athletes … really, you name it, that I can’t stand the sight of their faces or the mention of their names.

I’m human—don’t judge me.

In my eyes they have to come harder, come brighter, write better, and play stronger than the average person. I’m a women after all, and I expect the best from my kind.

So when women expect a chance, expect the kudos, and expect certain opportunities just because they’re a woman—it really want to smack the taste out of their mouths. Affectionately of course  😉

Because I see it’s gotten to the point where a lot of women expect things to be handed to them because they have vagina’s, NOT because they’ve worked for them.

I’m not sure where this sense of entitlement has come from.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want them to succeed? Quite the opposite, actually, as a woman I need them to succeed.

But am I wrong for not liking them? No.

Am I wrong for not fangirling and fawning over whatever they put out? No. I don’t think so.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is it wrong if I were to say completely withdraw my support for an institution because of a specific woman—just because she’s a woman. You bet your ass it is!

See … I’m not one of the people who expect others to simply fall in line under the guise of camaraderie. (You can save your fake support for someone who has time for the fakery)… You don’t need to like me just because anatomically we’re forced to share the same public bathroom.

And I personally don’t like the idea that I have to support someone, be there for them, or even like their nonsense just because they’re a woman.

No for the women who want equality, they can stand to not be liked just like anyone else.

But for those who feel like withdrawing their support just because this person is a woman … well, I feel sorry for them.

I would really hate for the day when someone doesn’t like you, or support you just because you don’t have a dick.

Shame ain’t it?

 

Sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G

31 Jan

Challenge question of the Day . . . “Your last kiss.”

See–that’s kinda too vague for people whose minds think like mine!

Does this refer to the date, time, and place of my last kiss?

Who the last kiss was with?

What I was thinking during said last kiss? The possibilities are endless! But I’ll tackle it anyway.

So … lemme tell you a story!

I haven’t been kissed in a while. Whispers, “really it’s been MONTHS (see: almost a year) True facts, people! Sad but true!

And it . . . left A LOT to be desired!

I had friends in town visiting, right! And over this particular weekend there was way more alcohol consumed than there was food.

Really, a lot of it is still a blur! And it was my proverbial, “I’m too old for this shit!” moment. I haven’t done that again, and have no desire to, either.

Anyway, on this “weekend” for some reason I was feeling a little good about myself. (You know those times) … I flirted it up, wore cute little outfits. Swam in a pool (or at least pretended to because I don’t know how to swim. DON’T JUDGE ME!) and . . . yeah. It felt like I was young and on Spring Break all over again.

The drinks were a flowing, the guys were a guying, and I (Lolo) felt like I was on top of my game.

Enter guy # 1 *sigh* Yup! I spent almost all day flirting with a downright cutie patutie. He had potential, girls! And really, he was gonna get it!

But then *gasp* enter THE VILLIAN of the story!

Okay, maybe he wasn’t a ‘villain’ per se … but it’s my story!

This guy (ugh) definitely shouldn’t have went there with him again. AT ALL! But he had something over our cutie patutie! Yes, yes–the villain and I  had history!!

I felt more comfortable taking things . . . elsewhere . . . with someone who I’d been, uh . . . elsewhere with before! Catch my drift?

It was terrible! On all fronts and such a big mistake. I never saw cutie patutie again after the weekend… (Though I could if I wanted to because we have mutual friends) and I sure as shit, stayed the hell away from villain afterward.

So . . . yeah, my last kiss—my last TWO kisses, were on the same day!

I should be ashamed of myself.

I’m not. 😀

When was YOUR last kiss?

 

 

Do you like me? Check Yes or No! #Blog Challenge Day 6

27 Jan

The person you like and why you like them …

Oh, where to begin–where to begin???

Well, for starters, let me preface this by saying I’m currently not “In like” with anyone. ‘Tis sad but true!

I mean … there’s this one guy! He’s my kryptonite and after a few years (see decades) I still haven’t been able to shake him, but I hardly think he counts anymore. I’ve resigned myself to the fact he and I will live in a constant state of “what if” until we’re old and gray, and married to other people!

Anyway!

This question made me think of the simple days, ya know! Before life and dating made us  hip to the feelings of hardcore rejection, hurt and betrayal. When going out on a limb wasn’t met with so much fear. When shit wasn’t so damn complicated!

We have A MILLION ways to communicate now a days! Ways in which some of us couldn’t fathom when we were younger. I mean … some of  us were pretty sure the world would end LONG before we got a cell phone that can do magic tricks! (Oh, your phone doesn’t do that? Get on board–’cause mine can fly!!! … I kid, I kid).

I miss these days :

 

Things weren’t as hard–WE didn’t make things so hard. It was simple, do you like me? Yes or No!?

We didn’t know about playing hard to get.

Past experiences didn’t make us scared, bitter and/or un-trusting.

Our hearts were pure! Eager for love and friendship! Wanting to cut to the chase.

But now, we have email, Skype, Twitter, Facebook, Cell phones, Cell phone APP’s, Instant messengers, Morse code, smoke signals–really the list goes on!  And of course we can’t forget blogs!  (you have no idea how many blogs I found dedicated just to people writing letters to their exes)

Yet, I think, sadly, our generation is the worst when it comes to communication.

How many people do you know who, when asked their relationship status, hits you with an, “It’s complicated?”

Every situation is different, yada-yada–but in the end I miss the days where it boiled down to the simple question.— Do you like me, yes or no?

Yes= we’re together now or friends.

No= let us know not to waste our times and move on to someone who wants us in their lives.

The memories.

 

Day 5: 5 things that irritate

26 Jan

Day 5:

… Or something like that!

5 things that irritate you about the opposite sex/same sex

Firstly, there is no way for me to answer this that won’t come out, in some way shape or form, like I’m man-bashing! And as for what I hate about women-folk, same rules apply! It’ll look like I really, and I mean reaaaallllyyyy, don’t like my own kind.

(I’ll plead the fifth on whether or not that’s actually the case or not)

Dave Chappelle is the man! 

Pic found on funnycorner.net

So how about I just highlight some things I don’t like about people in general??

1. The Lying Game

I don’t like people’s propensity to lie! We all tell white lies–to a degree. Maybe even omit the truth to spare someone’s feelings. But full out lies, betrayal?  Can’t stand it. Don’t see the point of it.

2. A case of mistaken identity.

Who ARE you exactly? If by a certain age, you still don’t know and are trying to find yourself– I’m all set with you! This doesn’t mean “re-inventing.” We all go through things, that might warrant a few change ups of ourselves to get through a bad time. Or realize things haven’t been working one way, so we try plan B. But if you still have no idea who you are, after you’ve been walking the earth for a few decades: We’re done here!

3. The Con-Artist

Maybe this goes with lying… I can’t be sure. But don’t just tell people what you know they want to hear to get something out of them! Not cool.

4. The perpetual whore who hates being  judged

Either own your whoredom, and shout it loud, “That you’re a whore and you’re proud!” OR close your legs and grow up. Simple as!

5. The passive aggressive motivational speaker 

“With all due respect …” Just STOP! Because everything that’s about to come out of your mouth is going to be disrespectful! You have something to say to someone? To a room full of people perhaps? Go for it! Just don’t hide behind words that are contradictory.

See even Willy Wonka called you out

 

THANK YOU FOR READING: FEEL FREE TO SHARE 5 THINGS THAT IRRITATE YOU ABOUT PEOPLE 🙂

Challenge: Day 2 and 3

18 Jan

So, I mentioned the day before yesterday in this post that I’m participating in a fellow bloggers Challenge.

If you click the link you will find the “topic” for each of the thirty days 🙂

Since I didn’t get a chance to get this out yesterday–I’ve combined two days! Kinda like when you miss a birth control pill… (Let’s not pretend you can’t relate, ladies) Moving on!

 

Day 2: How have you changed in the past 2 years?

I can go so many different ways with this . . . because at first glance, I thought: Damn, HAVE I changed in the past two years? I had to really think about this.

Two years may seem like nothing to some, but A LOT can happen in two years. Shit–a lot can happen in 2 days or 2 hours– So 2 years is a lifetime.

In the past two years, the thing that’s changed the most about me is: I’ve learned a hell of a lot about humility. I’m not an arrogant person, never have been–never will be. But I am stubborn as hell when it comes to my ‘Independence’. No need to get into it, most of you know about my health issues by now.

So sucking it up and knowing when to ask for help, has been my biggest change aka improvement. Well . . . I think it’s an improvement.

 

Day 3: What kind of person attracts you?

So . . . yeah–I like a guy with a sense of humor, nice smile, good heart and all that good stuff. But it wouldn’t hurt if he ever looked like any of these guys while he’s at it!

Channing Chris-Hemsworth-shirtless-Down-Under devin-thomas-3 shemar

Sooooo …. how have YOU changed in the past two years, and what kind of person attracts you?? Don’t worry; I won’t tell! :-p

If you ever need me >> Twitter: @Lolosofocused

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