Tag Archives: Love

Big girls DO cry

27 Feb

… We all do.

And, honestly, I’m kind of done pretending that I don’t.

Earlier today (on my respective Facebook’s  I posted a status that read:

“Even people with the “toughest skin” or shoulders who can inexplicably let things roll off of them aren’t immune to feelings of hurt, frustration, or disappointment in reaction to someone’s comments or behavior. It has nothing to do with being weak, or letting them get to you. It’s about being human and knowing how you should be treated. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

Do I agree that in life we have to learn to take the good with the bad?  The constructive criticisms, right along with praise, and hate? Yes, of course. But to an extent.

We can never and should never try to please everyone we come in contact with. Whether that be online or in everyday life. It’s an impossible task. Don’t set yourself up for that kind of failure.

However, should people just accept someone’s comments, rude behavior, and downright spiteful, vindictive and catty remarks? No. I don’t believe so.

To me, when you tell someone that they aren’t allowed to have some sort of reaction, or feel a certain way about someone else’s words, it’s as though you’re telling them to forget they’re human.

That they should just ignore people’s words because they have a right to say what they want. Not everyone is gonna like you.

Whatever.

Why? Explain to me WHY we’re not allowed to feel the pang of hurt. Frown or maybe shed a tear when someone hurts our feelings? I don’t understand.

Does this mean the second someone disagrees with you that it’s time to fly off the handle, vent and cry just because they don’t love or hate the same thing as you?

Come on. Obviously not.

But why pretend?

I can let a lot— and I mean A LOT —of things roll off my shoulder. Laugh in someone’s face when they try and get at me. Or even pretend something wasn’t said or done to me at all.

But catch me at the wrong day or time. Catch me when life is just shitting on me in more ways than one. When I have nothing in me to ignore.

What do I do? … I cry.

And I vent.

And I mope.

And letting it all out sometimes feels damn good.

Do I move on? Of course, we HAVE TO. There’s no sense in dwelling on it forever. Or letting it fester to the point it consumes you  and turns you into that same hateful person to others, as the person who made you feel like poo.

But I gain nothing in pretending I’m not human.

Pretending I don’t have feelings.

Acting like I don’t get disappointed if something I say or do isn’t well received. If someone I know is acting all out themselves.

I treat others with as much love and respect as possible.

And when I don’t get that in return—it hurts. It leaves me confused and frustrated. It makes me question things. It makes me question myself.

Does that make me weak in some people’s eyes? Perhaps.

But it makes me real.

Sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G

31 Jan

Challenge question of the Day . . . “Your last kiss.”

See–that’s kinda too vague for people whose minds think like mine!

Does this refer to the date, time, and place of my last kiss?

Who the last kiss was with?

What I was thinking during said last kiss? The possibilities are endless! But I’ll tackle it anyway.

So … lemme tell you a story!

I haven’t been kissed in a while. Whispers, “really it’s been MONTHS (see: almost a year) True facts, people! Sad but true!

And it . . . left A LOT to be desired!

I had friends in town visiting, right! And over this particular weekend there was way more alcohol consumed than there was food.

Really, a lot of it is still a blur! And it was my proverbial, “I’m too old for this shit!” moment. I haven’t done that again, and have no desire to, either.

Anyway, on this “weekend” for some reason I was feeling a little good about myself. (You know those times) … I flirted it up, wore cute little outfits. Swam in a pool (or at least pretended to because I don’t know how to swim. DON’T JUDGE ME!) and . . . yeah. It felt like I was young and on Spring Break all over again.

The drinks were a flowing, the guys were a guying, and I (Lolo) felt like I was on top of my game.

Enter guy # 1 *sigh* Yup! I spent almost all day flirting with a downright cutie patutie. He had potential, girls! And really, he was gonna get it!

But then *gasp* enter THE VILLIAN of the story!

Okay, maybe he wasn’t a ‘villain’ per se … but it’s my story!

This guy (ugh) definitely shouldn’t have went there with him again. AT ALL! But he had something over our cutie patutie! Yes, yes–the villain and I  had history!!

I felt more comfortable taking things . . . elsewhere . . . with someone who I’d been, uh . . . elsewhere with before! Catch my drift?

It was terrible! On all fronts and such a big mistake. I never saw cutie patutie again after the weekend… (Though I could if I wanted to because we have mutual friends) and I sure as shit, stayed the hell away from villain afterward.

So . . . yeah, my last kiss—my last TWO kisses, were on the same day!

I should be ashamed of myself.

I’m not. 😀

When was YOUR last kiss?

 

 

Don’t worry . . . sometimes people just cheat

27 Jan

I’m combining the topics for day 7 and 8 today!

Day 7: Your opinion on cheating on people 

I can’t with this topic today! I had a very emotional conversation with someone from my past, and I’m way too spent to think about exes, and cheating and why people do it. Funnily enough, I just discussed this with a fellow blogger just yesterday … and really people cheat because they can. That’s how I see it. If you want to take a look at a man’s perspective of things, feel free to check out this blog post by: Date Advice Guy

Day 8: Something you’re currently worrying about!?

EVERYTHING!! 

Honestly, I’m a worry wart right now. I worry about my friends well-being. I worry about my families health. I worry about my career–where I’ll be in 5 years. If I’ll end up alone. Really, I’m in a morose mood 😦 so I’m just worrying!

YEAH THIS IS WHERE I’M AT TODAY

 

Sorry ya’ll didn’t get the peppy, sarcastic, and snarky/smart-assish Lolo … we all have our days, right!?

 

Challenge: Day 2 and 3

18 Jan

So, I mentioned the day before yesterday in this post that I’m participating in a fellow bloggers Challenge.

If you click the link you will find the “topic” for each of the thirty days 🙂

Since I didn’t get a chance to get this out yesterday–I’ve combined two days! Kinda like when you miss a birth control pill… (Let’s not pretend you can’t relate, ladies) Moving on!

 

Day 2: How have you changed in the past 2 years?

I can go so many different ways with this . . . because at first glance, I thought: Damn, HAVE I changed in the past two years? I had to really think about this.

Two years may seem like nothing to some, but A LOT can happen in two years. Shit–a lot can happen in 2 days or 2 hours– So 2 years is a lifetime.

In the past two years, the thing that’s changed the most about me is: I’ve learned a hell of a lot about humility. I’m not an arrogant person, never have been–never will be. But I am stubborn as hell when it comes to my ‘Independence’. No need to get into it, most of you know about my health issues by now.

So sucking it up and knowing when to ask for help, has been my biggest change aka improvement. Well . . . I think it’s an improvement.

 

Day 3: What kind of person attracts you?

So . . . yeah–I like a guy with a sense of humor, nice smile, good heart and all that good stuff. But it wouldn’t hurt if he ever looked like any of these guys while he’s at it!

Channing Chris-Hemsworth-shirtless-Down-Under devin-thomas-3 shemar

Sooooo …. how have YOU changed in the past two years, and what kind of person attracts you?? Don’t worry; I won’t tell! :-p

If you ever need me >> Twitter: @Lolosofocused

Challenge Accepted!! Day 1

15 Jan

While perusing the highlights of twitter on my morning break today–I came across a tweet where a fellow blogger posted a “30 Day Challenge” for herself!!

What did I do?– What any self-respecting annoying person would do: totally inserted myself into her challenge! 🙂

I kid, I kid…

Lala over at “Seasons Change, and so have I” Blog re-tweeted me and instead of asking me to mind my own God damned business, she asked if I planned on doing the challenge with her!

I said, “But of course.”  Or something like that, so here we are! 🙂

30 day list

 

 

Day 1: Weird things you do when you’re alone . . .

** Well . . . being that we’re living in the 21st century (or is it 22nd now? Idk–what with the world always ending, I lost track) and all–masturbating is no longer considered weird–at least I don’t think.

So let’s go with a close second.

I talk to myself. Like . . . alot! And out loud.

I mean, I don’t get into full-out arguments with myself, that I can recall, but I’ve been known to partake in some serious discussions with me, myself, and I.

To the point where people who I live with (but mainly my sister) have been prone to come to my room just to ask me, “Who the hell are you talking to?”

It’s actually quite annoying, when I’m interrupted, but I digress.

….

**Another thing I do??

I Youtube clips of people falling, getting scared, and pranks gone wrong– just to name a few!

I don’t know why, but there’s something just too damn entertaining about it I can’t help myself.

This video is one of my all times faves!

 

Don’t cry for her, Argentina! She made dollars of this shit. Got to several talk shows when this came out, too! Her feelings won’t be hurt that she’s brought so much joy into people’s hearts this many years later!

I’m sure I can name a ton more . . . but alas, that’ll have to do for now!

Sooo . . . are you up for the challenge?

And what weird shit do YOU do when you’re alone? It’s okay . . . you can tell me *wink*

You can follow Lala  on (Twitter)

and me as well 🙂 Twitter 

She’s alive! ALLLIIVVVVEEE!!!

5 Dec

So guess what I figured out?? Wanna know? It appears as though I have a super power!

One I’m naming: the-ability-to-fall-off-the-face-of-the-planet-without-warning.

It’s a very real power! I swear!

It’s been months since I’ve spoken to you guys—yet I still get you crazy people who follow my blog and hit me up! Wait … I mean that in a good way! Crazy is good in my world so don’t stop! 🙂

So … what have I been up to lately? I shall tell ya! (and if you follow me on twitter ya’ll already know my life) LOL

Job Update: 

So thanks to several posts—once upon a time; such as Phone Sex Operator Lolo—it was made clear I was unemployed and HATING it! Well, the good news is  a few months ago I GOT A JOB!! Yay!! But then I got ‘sick’ again … ya know the Spondyloarthropathy thing, and went to the hospital! Boo!!! But then I went back to work a few days later! Yay! But that didn’t last long and they put me on medical leave! UNPAID!! Double Boo!!

So now I got a doc appt coming up (weeks later ’cause they be booked up yo) to see IF I can be released back to work! The ironic thing of all is this??? I FEEL JUST FINE!

Love life:

I don’t know that I ever dwelled much on this in past posts, but … meh not much to tell anyway! There’s nothing, no-one and yeah! So for a hot second I almost entertained the idea of the online scene! THAT stopped the minute I got hooked to a little show I’d like to call ‘Catfish’– shit’s heartbreaking!! 😦

Other stuff

Sooooo …. not sure how many of ya’ll knew this or ever read the few posts I got to write on ‘So you think you can Act’  —my blog I did for my first acting class. But, yeah so apparently I CAN act a little… so I’ve been told!  A few months ago (and this is really what ended up monopolizing my time) I went to my very first audition EVER! And  … Got it!! Now, don’t go looking for me on the big screens. I got to play 1 of 3 woman for the VAGINA MONOLOGUES at a local theater! The run ended about a week ago and it was seriously one of the best experiences in my life! If you’ve never taken an acting class, or auditioned for something DOO ITT just the experience, the people you meet is insane! And if you DO get it–beating out other, and more ‘experienced’ actors for the role–really can’t tell you how amazing it is!

Soooo … yeah! That’s me and a brief summary of what the past few months have been like for me!! 🙂

What have YOU been up to?? 

Twitter: @lolosofocused

Santa Claus isn’t real…

26 Jul

… And celebrities are human.

Gasp! Who knew!

Ok, I’m sorry but those who know me, know I never miss the opportunity to let my sarcasm shine. So, I had to have that one, thanks for understanding.

Those who know me, also know that I’m a huge ‘Twilight’ fan—don’t judge me! Lol

With that said, I’m sure people are wondering what my thoughts are on this whole Kristen Stewart cheating on Rob Pattinson issue.

I’ll answer about my feelings (or lack thereof) momentarily…

What I would like to comment on, first, is people’s reactions to shit like this. I honestly don’t get it. I mean, hey I’m not one to pass judgment ‘cause I, too, perpetuate the vicious cycle of “Celebrity Gossip” by looking online at the rag mags, and wondering “what the hell he/she was wearing at said event.”  Or “wow I really can’t believe she’s having an alien’s baby”—(more sarcasm)… but you know what I do at the end of the day: I sleep just fine, and forget about these people who don’t know I exist, and probably never will.  

I also take everything I read with a grain of salt.

The same can’t be said for everyone, though, especially over social media, because for the past few days my Facebook and Twitter have blown up into a shit storm of hate and ugliness that’s surprised even me. And trust me; I’ve seen some hate and ugliness in my life—I mean, who hasn’t right?

I’ve seen “friends” turning on each other, battle swords drawn, and insults being flung around to the extreme. All in the name of how people feel others should be reacting. 

At one point I had to take a step back and say to myself:  “Self? Is this what die-hard—or in this case Twi-hard—fans, are supposed to do? Pull out the pitch forks; argue with not just each other but media outlets as well? Could it be, that I Lolo am not as much of a fan as I’ve proclaimed?”  No this can’t be… I continued. “Of course I’m a fan, I even write Fanfiction for it for crying out loud”—so what is it? Why am I not devastated and cursing the skies of the injustice of it all?

I’m not kidding, I really wondered (if only for a brief second) why I didn’t care.

And then I remembered why none of this has fazed me—at least not to the extent it should. I mean, I’m human after all– so even I had a minor reaction; shit didn’t you at least snort when you found out about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? That’s a reaction!

Or what about Will and Jada? Another reaction…

Honestly I’m still a little broken for Sandra Bullock (ok not really but I’ve proven my point I hope)… yes we have reactions—even if it’s to roll our eyes and say who care’s—but we move the fuck on ‘cause we learned a long time ago that: Santa isn’t real, the Easter bunny ain’t shit, and the tooth fairy (who never even existed in my life) would really be nothing more than a creepy bitch for taking little kids teeth.

All on the same strength that behind the pictures, movies etc. These “celebrities” are humans who fuck up everyday just like us. Only they have millions of people watching. If someone IS devastated, well than *hugs* to you … if someone (like me) isn’t well *nod* right on… At the end of the day, everyone has the right to care, or not care as they see fit! Trashing each other for it? Well damn, did I miss a time warp where not only was freedom of speech but freedom of THOUGHT was band as well? I must have… 

So, what’s my thought you might wonder… It’s simple really… I don’t give a shit! *shrug*

___________________________________________________________________

Revised: 7/27/12  Okay, I lied, there is something about all this that I DO care about… The “Blame Game” … All I’ll add is–and this is to the angry/devastated folk that I want to hug– if you ARE wanting to light the pitch forks and this that or that other, don’t forget to spread the “hate” and “blame” around … ‘Cause last I checked, the saying was: “It takes 2 to tango” 😉

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