Tag Archives: Racism

“FAT NIGGER!” … that’s what I was called today.

29 Oct

By whom? I don’t know.

It was random.

It came from a stranger.

And I’m yet to decide how I truly feel about it.

Initially, I had no reaction. I was walking around during my lunch break and as I was waiting on the sidewalk for my turn to cross the street, a passerby yelled it from a car.

I didn’t look up. I didn’t even flinch. A part of it was because it took a minute to register what they said. The other was because I’ve learned—or I’m trying to learn, I should say—to school my initial reactions to people. I’m the one who talks back. The person who’s quick to roll their eyes at a comment without realizing it, or have a sarcastic reply.

Yet, in this situation, I felt nothing. No desire to retort. I was completely numb. 

For about five minutes.

When I walked back into work, my hand was shaking slightly as it all settled in. And when I told everyone what just happened, in the midst of their anger, the first thing I said was, “I’m not even that fat!”

I don’t know where that came from, but it truly didn’t even come from a place of trying to be funny.

And I still can’t figure out why the fat part of the comment bothered me more.

I mean, I know I’m black. I’ve been black since the day I was born. Because of that, I know there are people who will automatically dislike me.

They will quickly judge and decide that I’m not good enough.

That I’m not educated.

Or I’m ghetto.

Is it okay? No, of course not. But it is what it is.

Every day, all around us, there are reminders of how long we’ve come as a society coupled with instances of how much longer we have to go.

I’m not blind to the ignorance of the world.

I haven’t been since the second grade when a kid called me a ‘Negro’ but didn’t get in trouble no matter how much he hurt my feelings.

I haven’t been blind to it since earlier years when people would tell me I “sound like a white girl.” 

And I wasn’t blind to it today, when I was minding my business and had to be reminded that—by societies standards—I’m not only FAT but I’m a NIGGER.

I’m not as angry as some are or would be. In part, I’m actually kind of thankful it was said to me. I know had it been said to some others, they wouldn’t have been able to handle it. Going on with their day as if it never happened wouldn’t be an option.

It would have turned them cold, maybe even bitter.

Thankfully, that’s not going to happen here because I know I can’t change the way ignorant people think.

Today was one of the first times I’ve realized, truly, that my skin color doesn’t define me.

It’s not what they call you—it’s what you answer to.

I’ve never been slim. So yes, I might be fat.

But a nigger I am not.

I’m a strong black woman.      

And that’s okay!

Maybe one day it will be okay with everyone, too!

 NoHate

If you’re against gay marriage: Then don’t get GAY MARRIED!

27 May

I’m still not sure who came up with that saying, but my response to it has always been: A-fucking-men!!

This is probably as political, or whatever you choose to call it, that I will EVER get… And probably the angriest to! But, I feel it’s time to say something!

To anyone who wants to hear it.

Not that it’s not an ongoing issue —but as usual—whenever elections start rolling around, people decide to plant their flags in the ground of right and wrong, and blur the lines between church and state.

To be honest… I’m stick to death of it!

Dear government; WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU to decide what “love” is right or wrong, huh? Who are you to decide that “certain people” should not be allowed the same rights—not privileges— but RIGHTS as everyone else?

Once upon a time, if I fell in love with a white man– I wouldn’t have been able to marry him. Remember that? Once upon a time, a black man, such as my brother would have had the SHIT beat out of him, for so much as looking at someone of a different race. That means my beautiful nieces, and nephew would have never been here. Or worse treated like an abomination.

Do you plan on bringing those days back? Do you? It’s different, is it? Really how so? Please enlighten me.

There are days when I am so proud of how far we’ve gotten as a society. And then there are days, where I really want to vomit over the judgmental and ignorant shit that I come across.

So, it’s a sin in the bible huh? Well guess what, I’m not hear to dispute that because I don’t claim to know the bible, at all. But guess what? YOU ASSHOLES DON’T EITHER! You don’t get to use it when it benefits your cause, then turn around and tear it apart as it suits you! That’s not how it works!

When will you learn? When will WE ALL learn. Hate breeds hate. That’s fact. When will it stop? You have the power, we all do, but what do you do?

You insert yourselves into the wombs of women, and tell us what to do with it!

You play GOD and rip peoples hearts out by telling them who they are “allowed” to love and how they are “allowed” to show it!

You ignore the cries of the hungry, and pleas of the uneducated, while you further your own agenda’s and beef up your own wallets!

No one is forcing you to “like” this idea or that idea. After all, we’re not YOU… we believe in free will and all that. You don’t like something? By all means, don’t do it! Don’t participate in it! Look the other way!

But to force you’re OWN beliefs of wrong on others and then hide behind that guise that it’s the ONLY acceptable belief?

Hardly seems fair does it?!

“Happy Hunger Games… My Ass” I cried like a Baby

3 Apr

        

So I caved and watched The Hunger Games (HG) last night. I say caved because I tend to fall into the category of those people who, when a film adaptation of a novel comes out, feels that I have to read the story first so that I understand any and everything going on AND can annoyingly explain it to the person sitting next to me. (99% of the time it’s My Sister).

However, the previews and hype surrounding the movie drew me in and let me tell you- I stand by my original rule and am going back to reading the stories beforehand.

{Before you read on let me explain that I have no intention of comparing The Hunger Games and Twilight. Ever. For starters. 1.) I don’t consider myself a movie critic in any way and really just wanted to share what I thought of this film and 2.) Let this serve as a reminder that I haven’t read any of the books so it wouldn’t be fair because I am an embarrassingly avid Twilight fan. (see: Have the books, have the movies and even reads AND writes Twilight FanFiction)}

Moving on.

First let me say that, to me, the movie as a movie itself was beyond amazing.

The cinematography and special effects had me at the edge of my seat and several times I leaned over (to my sister) and would whisper “Wow” or “That was crazy” when something interesting happened.

I also think that actress Jennifer Lawrence, who portrays the heroine of the novel/film Katniss Everdeen, has talent that cannot be doubted or badly reviewed, as well as the many other actors in the cast. Job well done!

Unfortunately, having not read the book, there were times that I felt the movie lagged, some things that seemed minor, but I know better, were left unexplained (the symbolism of the mockingjay pin, Katniss and Rue’s 4 note melody, and the three finger salute to name a few) and events that occurred that I was left totally unprepared for. – Like when Rue, the young girl tribute from District 11, was slaughtered in cold bold. Even knowing it was inevitable I still cried and shouted at the screen how I felt. I think my exact words were “THIS IS BULL SH*T”.

In case you don’t know the premise of the story- Basically because of one Districts (or countries) failed attempt to rebel against the corrupt Capitol (government), every other district (There are 12 left in total) must now offer up two children (one male and one female) yearly as tribute to battle to the death- DEATH ie: they savagely bludgeon each other- on live television where the world watches. Children killing. Each other. 24 kids. Only one survives. Kids. Killing each other. For sport. While adults watch and sometimes actually sabotage the game.

Maybe I’m just too naïve and sensitive for angst but I really hated the idea, concept and portrayal of people offering up children as sacrifice. Since this is basically the entire premise of the novel/ film I guess sadly I must report that I am not a fan and probably won’t be rushing out to by the trilogy of books anytime soon.

Kids’ killing each other, regardless of the reason and symbolism is just something I can’t get with. Ever.

But like I said the movie in itself separately from what it represented (to me) was probably the best movie I’ve seen so far this year. Just watch at your own risk.

“Happy Hunger Games!”

Also I would  like to just give a big F-You to those people who actually had the gall to tweet hateful comments that Rue was depicted as a young black girl (the way she was actually described in the books from what I understand).

be PROUD don’t be IGNORANT

18 Mar

  I want to bring something to light that has been grating on my nerves for as long as I can remember. The, in my mind, UNECCESARY stigma associated with interracial dating.

Recently, I read on www.Bossip.com that rapper ICE-T (if you don’t know him Google him) who happens to married to a white woman, actress and model Coco, was quoted discussing that the reason Black Men marry and date outside their race more often then Black Woman (whether or not that’s true I don’t know) is because men more often appreciate the beauty of a woman despite their race, whereas black woman are the picky ones and are so dead set on ONLY dating black men that, THAT’s the reason their dating supply is so low. That’s not the direct quote but you get the idea.

For starters let’s me get this out of the way. I want to point out that yes I’m a strong black woman but I’m a strong WOMAN first and the ignorance of some comments from readers that followed the article partially shocked and partially disgusted me.

Taking race out of the equation, I don’t think people realize just how much they are degrading and disrespecting ALL races and cultures as well as both genders when they feel the need to point out and make someone feel bad about something as trivial as the tone of someone’s skin color. I mean yes, everyone and I do mean EVERYONE is entitled to their own beliefs but before you start spouting off that opinion to others make sure you aren’t contradicting yourself.

The same people (mostly ‘my people’) who are preaching, advocating and praying for equality are more often then not some of the first to cry blasphemy when a “brotha” or whatever chooses to be with someone of a different race.

Really? So basically that means you want equality but only when that applies to you right? Equality in the boardroom but not in the bedroom? (as a reader pointed out).

You don’t want to be looked at as less then but when someone of another race or culture see’s the beauty in us or more importantly see’s past it, all the sudden they’re selling out? Do you see how that doesn’t make sense? Why not take it a step further and say “not only do I not want you to date outside of your race I also don’t want you to be friends with someone outside of it either”.

To me that’s just another form of segregation. Don’t think so? Read the definition according to the Encarta Dictionary and tell me what the difference is. (Segregation : the practice of keeping ethnic, racial, religious, or gender groups separate.) Doesn’t sound so different now does it?

Everyone has their preferences I get and respect that. So my point is NOT  to make other’s feel bad if they are NOT attracted to another race. It is what it is!

But if YOU want to stick to your own race and culture that’s YOUR prerogative and good for YOU!If you want to be proud, as you should be, then by all means say it loud and be proud.

Just know there’s sometimes a thin line between  pride and self-righteousness as well as ignorance and racism because that’s EXACTLY how you’re being and what you’re promoting when you judge people who fall in love with a person’s heart or their smile rather then the level of melatonin in their skin.

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