Tag Archives: Rant

Humility Never Goes out of Style

8 Apr

So stay humble! That’s my message for today.

Why—where did this come from you wonder? Where else: Social Media.

Now, I don’t consider myself a Social Media junkie. Not in the least. I do have a Twitter, Facebook, and of course this blog … but that’s about it.

From time to time I’ll follow a friend’s Tumblr link. Look at a picture of something on pinterest, or stumble on something funny or informative on a friends livejournal……..

Okay, so maybe I’m a closet junkie—a lurker if you will.

But that’s okay … that’s what they’re there for after all, right?

Yes and No! Some people seem to have forgotten about the ‘Social’ part of social media.

Just go on Twitter. Go ahead—for a few minutes. Not to converse with anyone, but just to observe. Did you look? How many links did you notice vs. conversations? Not just spamming, but so many hashtags you thought someone was trying to bust out an epic game of tic-tac-toe?

How many “twitter celebrities” did you peep shouting “Follow back” “ifollow” etc. only they have thousands of followers, and are only following 10 people?

How many one-sided conversations did you see where the recipient is simply not responding?

A lot more of those than Socializing, huh?

Now check Facebook. Same thing? Not surprised.

It’s like a phenomenon I’ve noticed. (or has it always been that way and I’ve just never realized?) Where pod people have invaded what’s supposed to be fun ways to connect with others for … what? Personal gain? Ego boosting? Sales and marketing?

Now, I respect the hustle. These sites are a sure fire way to ‘get the word out’ about your products, skills, etc. but it seems a lot of people want something, but don’t give back in return. Why oh WHY would I ever RT your –spam– promo link when you haven’t said a word to me, or anyone else for that matter. Ever. If all your TL shows is the same tweet or post over and over. You’re clearly a robot or have scheduled the same tweet with no intention on helping anyone but yourself. That makes you lazy. It also makes you very lame and selfish. (Sorry, yeah I went there).

This isn’t to say you should or have to follow everyone who follows you (Twitter has limits on how many you can follow anyway) or repost everyone of your friend’s tumblr’s or pins (whatever you call it) or like all their statuses, and pics, and links and I’m just getting a headache thinking about it ’cause some people just OD… But when you’re like that with everyone? Thinking you’re just too good … Lifts up a judging eyebrow at you.

Not cool.

In this day and age there are a lot of people making being an asshole seem like the ‘in thing to do’… they’re lying to you. Kanye gets away with it ’cause he’s Kanye. And really how many people can even stand him anymore? (Sorry to call you out, my dude. But you know you’re a dick sometimes) …

I follow an author on Facebook who has over 200k likes on her page… She somehow finds time to communicate with as many readers as she can… offering advice etc. or just answering as a whole because … well, she’s not a machine and can’t answer everyone.

While I don’t follow many (if any celebrities on twitter) some of the people I follow have an upwards of tens of thousands of followers. One no name guy has over 80k followers—don’t ask me how he got them (though he also follows that much) and if you scroll down his TL (not all of his tweets are savory) he’s not a bot and actually has conversations with many different people.

Those are just two examples, but it’s just the point that it makes me scratch my head when nobodies act like they’re … well, somebody. Is this post bordering on harsh? Catty, even? Shrugs probably, but I felt the need to say it.

Arrogance isn’t admirable.

The cockiness isn’t cute.

If you think you’re too good to be social—chances are you’re not.

I don’t care what your title is. Being humble earns more respect any day of the week in my book.

Just Say … Whatever you want to say to Drugs

6 Feb

So the next question of the challenge is in regards to my view on “Drugs and Alcohol.”

Riiiigggggghhhttt . . . Umm–is it passive aggressive for me to say I don’t have a view on it? ‘Cause I don’t.

Maybe I should. Maybe I should use this as a platform to spout all the FDA regulations, the laws, the consequences on your body and blah, blah, blah.

But I won’t.

I can’t.

Because I’m not your mother.

It’s 2013; though this argument stands true for the past decade or so. “This is your brain; this is your brain on drugs.” Remember those commercials… I do!

Gone are the days where they “unknowingly” put Cocaine in coca-cola products; not knowing it’s addictive nature and such.

We ALL know, by now, the result drugs  can have on your body. Your life. And those around you.

I don’t support drugs (or not-support them) any more than I do smoking cigarettes. Because, not sure if your heard, but whispers, “Smoking causes lung cancer.”

Why I never . . .

Exactly!

We know, we all know, what the deal is. Yet, they do it anyway. It’s not my job to spout my views on the topic. I don’t do drugs. I know people who have. People who’ve become addicted, people who’ve only done it socially, and yes people who’ve sold it.

Was it hard to see them suffer through this “addiction” and “disease”—yes it was. But it was even harder for me to sympathize when they lost people who loved them, or worse : ended  up in jail. WHY? ‘Cause they knew what they were getting themselves into and did it anyway!

So my view … if you know what it’s going to do to you, but you choose to do it anyway … well, you know the saying you’ve made your bed now you have to lie in it? Yup!

That’s my stance! What’s yours?

Save the Facebook drama for your mama!

16 Jan

 

I’ve come to a realization (seems a normal occurrence for me these days, huh?) That I am by far a bigger bitch in real life than I will ever be online…

In real life– I detest drama, but when the time comes I’ll admit, I don’t shy away from a [healthy] argument. Its good for the soul. And I have no shame admitting I’m one of those people who: come hell or high water, if I have a point–SOMEONE is gonna hear it! I don’t even care if the argument was over hours ago, either. 😀

But online!? Sorry to break the bad news, but no matter how much you shouty caps at someone you won’t caps lock them to death. It doesn’t make your point come across clearer, and really just makes you look like a dumb ass… #dontkillthemessenger — I’m just saying!!

I can hear an argument going on in real life and not bat an eyelash… See two people throwing down and walk by them as if its an everyday thing, but online?

Ohhhh!!!
Nothing will make me run for the metaphorical hills (aka unfriend, unfollow, block, ignore) someone quicker than the ever present bitch fests and cat fights! I’m allergic to online mayhem: it literally makes me cringe and grimace.

Obviously, we all have our moments and days where we really just need to let out a good rant… But after that, most of us move the hell on!

Some people though– wowzers!! Really, what they need is Dr. Phil. Not a slew of online friends, who don’t really know them, giving a shit ton of useless advice they haven’t and would never use themselves!

Which brings me to my next point of just … Really?! WHO exactly are you arguing with? *scratches chin* that person whose only connection to you is the fact you’ve clicked ‘like’ on some of the same pictures or post?! Maybe commented on the same thread!? Wow, ya’ll go way back, huh?

This is another reason I’m more prone to bitch someone out in RL rather than online.  My friends and family know me.  They know my quirks, ins and outs, what makes me tick–and at the end of day: That we’ll move past our arguments ’cause deep down we love each other. For real!

Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and all that isn’t real to me. You only know someone (for real) when they’re a constant present in your everyday real life. And even then you only know so much.

If I have an issue with someone that just needs to be hashed out– I’ll email them, call, text, skype, pm etc. If I don’t have the means to contact them in those other ways: the reality is I probably don’t know them well enough to get into online scuffles with them in the first place.

So when you just have that urge to ‘put someone in their place’ and I mean ALL THE TIME– please realize you’re not a Facebook Thug and no one fears you.

We roll our eyes.

Laugh at you.

Then while un-friending and blocking– we do both of the above.

YOU are your competition

10 Jan

On your mark . . . get set . . . wait–how about we just walk together!?

Throughout “life” we learn a lot about people but mostly, hopefully, we learn about ourselves, too!

One thing I’ve learned–and am constantly reminded of–is that I’m not a “competitive” person.

I don’t see the point.

Now … I don’t think this applies to situations when sports are involved, or let’s say two students  are vying for ONE scholarship, for example.

There are times when competition (friendly or not) is not only expected, but required!

There are other times, however, where it’s so uncalled for; when it rears it’s ugly head it makes people–like me who don’t see the need–look around, scratch their head and go, “Huh?!”

We all want success. We all want someone, anyone, and sometimes several people to tell us our goals and aspirations aren’t crazy or unattainable. The validation that WE ARE good enough. Being your own cheerleader isn’t always enough.

So how about being a cheerleader for others? Telling them “good job” and pressing forward when they’ve reached a plateau you wanted or maybe still want.

How about keeping your head up, licking your wounds and working your ass off ’til YOUR days comes and those same people you cheered for can return the favor and be in your support system. Your very own cheering section.

Here’s something else I’ve learned.

Some people do things because they love it, but come against, and in contact with those who have ulterior motives. Maybe it’s hard to watch those people succeed. Maybe you feel someone else (you, a family member, or friend) is more deserving. But at the end of the day, this may be hard to hear, but SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE clearly disagrees.

She got the part.

He scored that agent.

She doesn’t deserve that man.

He isn’t good enough for her.

They got that award.

Someone decided that person earned, or deserved what they got.

Rarely are things simply handed to people these days.

Most importantly what I’ve learned:

If shine is what you seek: Trust–there’s enough shine to go around. Period. Maybe this person’s light shines a little brighter. But look around, someone probably thinks the same thing about you. You might be blinding someone right now.

I don’t care what anyone says. YOU are your competition. YOU should strive to get better for YOU. It shouldn’t be about him, her, them or they.

Don’t waste time comparing yourself to others and looking at them as “competition” . . . that’s weak. It doesn’t matter how they got to where they are—They’re there! If that’s where you want to be . . . start looking at them as inspiration.

It’ll save you a lot more time.

~Lory

Twitter: @lolosofocused

Movie Theater Etiquette

8 Jul

OK,  movie goer’s … It’s time we have a serious talk!

For starters, let me explain a little bit about my life, and what I do, in order for you to understand how important this post is to me.

Once upon a time (not even a full 2 years ago) I had “a life.”  I went out every weekend— to a party, a club, a bal (aka a small concert in the Haitian world), out of town to NY, and the likes … I was everywhere and anywhere!

As most of you know, though, thanks to a little something called Seronegative Spondyloarthropathy in which I discussed in a post many moons ago  “Me and my Arthritis- 5 things I learned”  All that fun loving, and club hopping came to an abrupt end.

My hips don’t lie and , literally,  just can’t take it anymore!  Anywho!

Fast Forward to my life (or lack thereof) now.

One of the only things I do as a form of  “Going out” is to actually go to the movies!  I’ve been, just about every weekend or every other weekend in the past few months, and pretty much have my weekends for the rest of the year planned out as to what movies I will be seeing… (Yes I’m a nerd– Don’t judge me).

MOVING RIGHT ALONG!

With that said there are just some things that have been —what’s the word?— Ah yes, INFLICTED on me that I just don’t see the use for. Common courtesy and common sense, are clearly a thing of the past, so I am here my dear friends to beg (see: enlighten) you on things that I really don’t think are fair to those around you.

1. FEET- *shudder* I hate feet! I hate feet with a passion deep in my soul that I just can’t explain.  Sometimes, (back when I had money and used to get pedicures on a regular basis) I would avert my eyes as to not stare at someones crazy looking toes.

SO PLEASE! for the love of GOD,  if you absolutely MUST put your feet up on the seat in front of you (meaning my seat) Please keep your shoes on. There is no reason for me to have to see your fat, nasty, hairy big toe—Wiggling in my peripheral, when really I should be able to focus on Channing Tatum humping a stage.

2. CONTROL YOUR LAUGHTER- This one pains me because I know there is a good possibility that I to have an obnoxious laugh.  However, with this knowledge, I try my best to control it when other’s are around me.

Yes, you paid for the movie.  So, yes, you should be able to enjoy it. But so did everyone else.  So, the loud cackles, mixed with thunderous claps, and feet stomping— as if you’re in a stadium— are distracting and down right annoying. And they make it hard for everyone else to hear what the hell is going on.

Plus, sorry sir– that sat in front of us– but Madea really wasn’t THAT funny!

3. CLOTHES- Ladies! (Especially of the younger persuasion) I am SO GLAD for you that

your–whoever–brought you on a date to the movies.

However,  please dress appropriately. This isn’t you first movie,  and the concept of a theater stopped being new decades ago! So I’m pretty sure you knew, before you left the house and threw on that outfit that could rival a stripper, that it was going to be colder than a meat freezer inside.

So why do I have to see all your goodies, and then hear you complaining that it’s cold, or have the chattering of your teeth– as you catch pneumonia–ringing in my ears?

Where are you going??

 

I know you just wanted to look good for your date but sorry boo boo—  Your nakedness distracts us all, and not in a good way.

*This has been a certified rant from your’s truly*

If you have some movie theater etiquette you’d like to share with me, or just bad movie experience’s … Please feel free to rant Below! 🙂

Flaming- What’s the point?

5 Jul

For the LIFE OF ME … I can not understand the point in flaming people!

For those who may not know what a flame is— in the literary world it’s an intentionally hurtful/ malice review on someone’s body of work. I don’t know if that’s the actual definition, but you get the picture.

Now, this isn’t to be confused with politely and in a constructive way voicing your dislike for something or your opposing viewpoint of something.  After all not every book, blog, magazine article etc. is compiled with everyone in mind.

I, for one, have never read the Wall St. Journal, and probably never will.

Therefore, I am not the target audience.  So a flamer, to me, is someone who goes out scouting material not meant for them— in which they already know they will not like—all for the purpose of bashing the authors and their integrity, creativity, character, education, you name it—they bash it.

So this is what I ask: What’s the point?

What do you flamers get out of leaving nasty and hurtful reviews for people? Is it something that helps you sleep better at night? Make you feel big like you accomplished something? Do you feel like you’re doing a public service and speaking out for the weaklings who might not “have the balls to admit that they are really thinking?”

This is all kidding aside… I am DYING to understand it.

Now, I’ll admit I’ve been pretty lucky. With the exception of a few people stating that my characters may be a bitch, dense, or vapid … or that my blog has no rhyme or reason to it (*snort* I already told people my blog is about everything and nothing but whatever) … No one has come through and ripped me to the core in how much my family sucks, how I’m going to hell, or how I should never write again. (I’m sure that will change but whatever)

However, something people on the outside tend not to realize is that we bloggers, writers, etc.  are VERY much protective of each other because in simple terms: We know the struggle.

So, no, I haven’t gotten the worst of the flaming (yet) but having to see, read, or hear about fellow writers and bloggers going through this,  I feel it and again: I will never understand the point.

Yes, we put our works and thoughts out there to be judge and criticized, I get it, and it’s the nature of the beast. But to tell someone you don’t like their story or characters, or their blog— is not to tell them how horrible of a person they are, or how they or their families will rot in hell, or to threaten them or WORSE … when they post about a tragic event on a blog for you to call them LIARS, hate on them, or wish harm on them and their families during a tragic time.

For those who don’t know what it’s like … I would love for you to live inside the mind of a writer (aspiring or not) just for one day and see if you can come out on the other side sane. Those characters you read about—the ones you love to hate, or hate to the love? That murderer, that victim— yeah, they all lived in our minds for an insurmountable amount of time before we were able to put them on paper. You don’t like them fine. But you don’t know the man or woman behind the screen, the story that we may have lost sleep or shed tears over. Yet you sit behind your anonymity and exist solely to tear us down.

So I am asking, begging, for you all to enlighten me. As most flamers tend to hide behind their screens, never wanting to reveal their identities—have no fears you don’t have to sign in to comment under my posts.

I mean, GOD FORBID you have to actually take back the shit you dish out, huh?

My BIG F-U to ’16 and Pregnant’

9 Apr

Recently (see earlier today) I commented on a post by blogger ‘The Thirty Year Old me’ titled The 16 year old me was no psychic. It’s a funny take on how we all make these plans when we’re young even though we don’t know diddly squat about real life.

I sent the link of the blog to a friend because, I thought it was a good post, and with it she saw my comment. In my comment I stated something along the lines of when I was 16 the pregnant teens in my school didn’t get a reality show.” {That’s not all I said but that’s what she focused on}.

Now, though I didn’t get any nasty replies about this from other bloggers, I believe her response to me was ‘you were dead wrong for saying that about teen mothers’.

I almost choked on my spit and cried blasphemy!

First of all” I said to her (neck roll and everything) my ‘jab’ had nothing to do with teenage mothers.

That is something I would never do because I’ve had friends and family who were teenage mothers/father’s, as well as  friends and family who were the product of a teenage relationship.

Not to mention that in high school, I WORKED at a ‘childcare center’-for credit towards my classes- where young mothers were required to take parenting classes while working and going to school etc. What’s ironic is, at the time, this option had ppl in town saying that “giving ‘these girls’ a place to go and keeping them near their daughters would influence them.” I didn’t agree with that but whatever.

The point is, though I haven’t lived it, I’ve SEEN the struggle of teenage parenting from MANY angles. So my JAB, as I put it, was towards the actual show NOT the mother’s.

When ’16 and Pregnant’ first came on scene… I DID watch it. What I expected was a documentary informing girls (Who I think grow up way faster now then in my day-and trust me that’s saying a lot) all the pitfalls and struggles that come with being a young mom, in high school, with little to no support. And at first, to me, they did that, as promised.

But then something happened… We started seeing these girls on magazine covers, the tabloids, and talk shows. Then it was ‘leaked’ and confirmed that some were receiving five-six figure salaries.


THAT’S when I was like WTF! This isn’t about being a documentary- This is a full fledged reality TV show!

Say what you want- but certain girls (not all girls but certain girls) are very, VERY impressionable and don’t get the concept that if you have a child-regardless of age- it’s not all shits and giggles all the time. They think, because they see it on TV, that they will become famous. All they have to do is ‘get on the show’ and hopefully they will also be featured on ‘Teen Mom’ and then their life is set.

It won’t be but they don’t get that till it’s too late.

Now this is where I kind of backtrack but not by much. A child is a blessing. Period. And by reminding people of the trials and tribulations, isn’t to imply that just because you’re essentially a child yourself, doesn’t mean you won’t do all you can to be a good mother.

Like I said I’ve had friends and family who’ve been on both sides of the spectrum and with a lot of love, hard work, support and sorry but sometimes just pure luck (that the father and his family and/or your family and friends won’t bail on you) you’re sure to be the best mom you can be.

Things aren’t handed to you no matter what MTV wants you to believe. (Yeah, yeah I know what their claims are- but whatever I’m not buying it- its still about ratings and a paycheck.) At the end of the day everyone is entitled to their own opinions, including me whose opinion is I HATE WHAT THIS SHOW STANDS FOR!

They can spin it all they want but idealizing, glorifying and down right simplifying being actually “16 and pregnant” will NEVER be ok with me.

 

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