Tag Archives: Relationships

Big girls DO cry

27 Feb

… We all do.

And, honestly, I’m kind of done pretending that I don’t.

Earlier today (on my respective Facebook’s  I posted a status that read:

“Even people with the “toughest skin” or shoulders who can inexplicably let things roll off of them aren’t immune to feelings of hurt, frustration, or disappointment in reaction to someone’s comments or behavior. It has nothing to do with being weak, or letting them get to you. It’s about being human and knowing how you should be treated. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

Do I agree that in life we have to learn to take the good with the bad?  The constructive criticisms, right along with praise, and hate? Yes, of course. But to an extent.

We can never and should never try to please everyone we come in contact with. Whether that be online or in everyday life. It’s an impossible task. Don’t set yourself up for that kind of failure.

However, should people just accept someone’s comments, rude behavior, and downright spiteful, vindictive and catty remarks? No. I don’t believe so.

To me, when you tell someone that they aren’t allowed to have some sort of reaction, or feel a certain way about someone else’s words, it’s as though you’re telling them to forget they’re human.

That they should just ignore people’s words because they have a right to say what they want. Not everyone is gonna like you.

Whatever.

Why? Explain to me WHY we’re not allowed to feel the pang of hurt. Frown or maybe shed a tear when someone hurts our feelings? I don’t understand.

Does this mean the second someone disagrees with you that it’s time to fly off the handle, vent and cry just because they don’t love or hate the same thing as you?

Come on. Obviously not.

But why pretend?

I can let a lot— and I mean A LOT —of things roll off my shoulder. Laugh in someone’s face when they try and get at me. Or even pretend something wasn’t said or done to me at all.

But catch me at the wrong day or time. Catch me when life is just shitting on me in more ways than one. When I have nothing in me to ignore.

What do I do? … I cry.

And I vent.

And I mope.

And letting it all out sometimes feels damn good.

Do I move on? Of course, we HAVE TO. There’s no sense in dwelling on it forever. Or letting it fester to the point it consumes you  and turns you into that same hateful person to others, as the person who made you feel like poo.

But I gain nothing in pretending I’m not human.

Pretending I don’t have feelings.

Acting like I don’t get disappointed if something I say or do isn’t well received. If someone I know is acting all out themselves.

I treat others with as much love and respect as possible.

And when I don’t get that in return—it hurts. It leaves me confused and frustrated. It makes me question things. It makes me question myself.

Does that make me weak in some people’s eyes? Perhaps.

But it makes me real.

Sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G

31 Jan

Challenge question of the Day . . . “Your last kiss.”

See–that’s kinda too vague for people whose minds think like mine!

Does this refer to the date, time, and place of my last kiss?

Who the last kiss was with?

What I was thinking during said last kiss? The possibilities are endless! But I’ll tackle it anyway.

So … lemme tell you a story!

I haven’t been kissed in a while. Whispers, “really it’s been MONTHS (see: almost a year) True facts, people! Sad but true!

And it . . . left A LOT to be desired!

I had friends in town visiting, right! And over this particular weekend there was way more alcohol consumed than there was food.

Really, a lot of it is still a blur! And it was my proverbial, “I’m too old for this shit!” moment. I haven’t done that again, and have no desire to, either.

Anyway, on this “weekend” for some reason I was feeling a little good about myself. (You know those times) … I flirted it up, wore cute little outfits. Swam in a pool (or at least pretended to because I don’t know how to swim. DON’T JUDGE ME!) and . . . yeah. It felt like I was young and on Spring Break all over again.

The drinks were a flowing, the guys were a guying, and I (Lolo) felt like I was on top of my game.

Enter guy # 1 *sigh* Yup! I spent almost all day flirting with a downright cutie patutie. He had potential, girls! And really, he was gonna get it!

But then *gasp* enter THE VILLIAN of the story!

Okay, maybe he wasn’t a ‘villain’ per se … but it’s my story!

This guy (ugh) definitely shouldn’t have went there with him again. AT ALL! But he had something over our cutie patutie! Yes, yes–the villain and I  had history!!

I felt more comfortable taking things . . . elsewhere . . . with someone who I’d been, uh . . . elsewhere with before! Catch my drift?

It was terrible! On all fronts and such a big mistake. I never saw cutie patutie again after the weekend… (Though I could if I wanted to because we have mutual friends) and I sure as shit, stayed the hell away from villain afterward.

So . . . yeah, my last kiss—my last TWO kisses, were on the same day!

I should be ashamed of myself.

I’m not. 😀

When was YOUR last kiss?

 

 

Don’t worry . . . sometimes people just cheat

27 Jan

I’m combining the topics for day 7 and 8 today!

Day 7: Your opinion on cheating on people 

I can’t with this topic today! I had a very emotional conversation with someone from my past, and I’m way too spent to think about exes, and cheating and why people do it. Funnily enough, I just discussed this with a fellow blogger just yesterday … and really people cheat because they can. That’s how I see it. If you want to take a look at a man’s perspective of things, feel free to check out this blog post by: Date Advice Guy

Day 8: Something you’re currently worrying about!?

EVERYTHING!! 

Honestly, I’m a worry wart right now. I worry about my friends well-being. I worry about my families health. I worry about my career–where I’ll be in 5 years. If I’ll end up alone. Really, I’m in a morose mood 😦 so I’m just worrying!

YEAH THIS IS WHERE I’M AT TODAY

 

Sorry ya’ll didn’t get the peppy, sarcastic, and snarky/smart-assish Lolo … we all have our days, right!?

 

Do you like me? Check Yes or No! #Blog Challenge Day 6

27 Jan

The person you like and why you like them …

Oh, where to begin–where to begin???

Well, for starters, let me preface this by saying I’m currently not “In like” with anyone. ‘Tis sad but true!

I mean … there’s this one guy! He’s my kryptonite and after a few years (see decades) I still haven’t been able to shake him, but I hardly think he counts anymore. I’ve resigned myself to the fact he and I will live in a constant state of “what if” until we’re old and gray, and married to other people!

Anyway!

This question made me think of the simple days, ya know! Before life and dating made us  hip to the feelings of hardcore rejection, hurt and betrayal. When going out on a limb wasn’t met with so much fear. When shit wasn’t so damn complicated!

We have A MILLION ways to communicate now a days! Ways in which some of us couldn’t fathom when we were younger. I mean … some of  us were pretty sure the world would end LONG before we got a cell phone that can do magic tricks! (Oh, your phone doesn’t do that? Get on board–’cause mine can fly!!! … I kid, I kid).

I miss these days :

 

Things weren’t as hard–WE didn’t make things so hard. It was simple, do you like me? Yes or No!?

We didn’t know about playing hard to get.

Past experiences didn’t make us scared, bitter and/or un-trusting.

Our hearts were pure! Eager for love and friendship! Wanting to cut to the chase.

But now, we have email, Skype, Twitter, Facebook, Cell phones, Cell phone APP’s, Instant messengers, Morse code, smoke signals–really the list goes on!  And of course we can’t forget blogs!  (you have no idea how many blogs I found dedicated just to people writing letters to their exes)

Yet, I think, sadly, our generation is the worst when it comes to communication.

How many people do you know who, when asked their relationship status, hits you with an, “It’s complicated?”

Every situation is different, yada-yada–but in the end I miss the days where it boiled down to the simple question.— Do you like me, yes or no?

Yes= we’re together now or friends.

No= let us know not to waste our times and move on to someone who wants us in their lives.

The memories.

 

Day 5: 5 things that irritate

26 Jan

Day 5:

… Or something like that!

5 things that irritate you about the opposite sex/same sex

Firstly, there is no way for me to answer this that won’t come out, in some way shape or form, like I’m man-bashing! And as for what I hate about women-folk, same rules apply! It’ll look like I really, and I mean reaaaallllyyyy, don’t like my own kind.

(I’ll plead the fifth on whether or not that’s actually the case or not)

Dave Chappelle is the man! 

Pic found on funnycorner.net

So how about I just highlight some things I don’t like about people in general??

1. The Lying Game

I don’t like people’s propensity to lie! We all tell white lies–to a degree. Maybe even omit the truth to spare someone’s feelings. But full out lies, betrayal?  Can’t stand it. Don’t see the point of it.

2. A case of mistaken identity.

Who ARE you exactly? If by a certain age, you still don’t know and are trying to find yourself– I’m all set with you! This doesn’t mean “re-inventing.” We all go through things, that might warrant a few change ups of ourselves to get through a bad time. Or realize things haven’t been working one way, so we try plan B. But if you still have no idea who you are, after you’ve been walking the earth for a few decades: We’re done here!

3. The Con-Artist

Maybe this goes with lying… I can’t be sure. But don’t just tell people what you know they want to hear to get something out of them! Not cool.

4. The perpetual whore who hates being  judged

Either own your whoredom, and shout it loud, “That you’re a whore and you’re proud!” OR close your legs and grow up. Simple as!

5. The passive aggressive motivational speaker 

“With all due respect …” Just STOP! Because everything that’s about to come out of your mouth is going to be disrespectful! You have something to say to someone? To a room full of people perhaps? Go for it! Just don’t hide behind words that are contradictory.

See even Willy Wonka called you out

 

THANK YOU FOR READING: FEEL FREE TO SHARE 5 THINGS THAT IRRITATE YOU ABOUT PEOPLE 🙂

Challenge Accepted!! Day 1

15 Jan

While perusing the highlights of twitter on my morning break today–I came across a tweet where a fellow blogger posted a “30 Day Challenge” for herself!!

What did I do?– What any self-respecting annoying person would do: totally inserted myself into her challenge! 🙂

I kid, I kid…

Lala over at “Seasons Change, and so have I” Blog re-tweeted me and instead of asking me to mind my own God damned business, she asked if I planned on doing the challenge with her!

I said, “But of course.”  Or something like that, so here we are! 🙂

30 day list

 

 

Day 1: Weird things you do when you’re alone . . .

** Well . . . being that we’re living in the 21st century (or is it 22nd now? Idk–what with the world always ending, I lost track) and all–masturbating is no longer considered weird–at least I don’t think.

So let’s go with a close second.

I talk to myself. Like . . . alot! And out loud.

I mean, I don’t get into full-out arguments with myself, that I can recall, but I’ve been known to partake in some serious discussions with me, myself, and I.

To the point where people who I live with (but mainly my sister) have been prone to come to my room just to ask me, “Who the hell are you talking to?”

It’s actually quite annoying, when I’m interrupted, but I digress.

….

**Another thing I do??

I Youtube clips of people falling, getting scared, and pranks gone wrong– just to name a few!

I don’t know why, but there’s something just too damn entertaining about it I can’t help myself.

This video is one of my all times faves!

 

Don’t cry for her, Argentina! She made dollars of this shit. Got to several talk shows when this came out, too! Her feelings won’t be hurt that she’s brought so much joy into people’s hearts this many years later!

I’m sure I can name a ton more . . . but alas, that’ll have to do for now!

Sooo . . . are you up for the challenge?

And what weird shit do YOU do when you’re alone? It’s okay . . . you can tell me *wink*

You can follow Lala  on (Twitter)

and me as well 🙂 Twitter 

YOU are your competition

10 Jan

On your mark . . . get set . . . wait–how about we just walk together!?

Throughout “life” we learn a lot about people but mostly, hopefully, we learn about ourselves, too!

One thing I’ve learned–and am constantly reminded of–is that I’m not a “competitive” person.

I don’t see the point.

Now … I don’t think this applies to situations when sports are involved, or let’s say two students  are vying for ONE scholarship, for example.

There are times when competition (friendly or not) is not only expected, but required!

There are other times, however, where it’s so uncalled for; when it rears it’s ugly head it makes people–like me who don’t see the need–look around, scratch their head and go, “Huh?!”

We all want success. We all want someone, anyone, and sometimes several people to tell us our goals and aspirations aren’t crazy or unattainable. The validation that WE ARE good enough. Being your own cheerleader isn’t always enough.

So how about being a cheerleader for others? Telling them “good job” and pressing forward when they’ve reached a plateau you wanted or maybe still want.

How about keeping your head up, licking your wounds and working your ass off ’til YOUR days comes and those same people you cheered for can return the favor and be in your support system. Your very own cheering section.

Here’s something else I’ve learned.

Some people do things because they love it, but come against, and in contact with those who have ulterior motives. Maybe it’s hard to watch those people succeed. Maybe you feel someone else (you, a family member, or friend) is more deserving. But at the end of the day, this may be hard to hear, but SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE clearly disagrees.

She got the part.

He scored that agent.

She doesn’t deserve that man.

He isn’t good enough for her.

They got that award.

Someone decided that person earned, or deserved what they got.

Rarely are things simply handed to people these days.

Most importantly what I’ve learned:

If shine is what you seek: Trust–there’s enough shine to go around. Period. Maybe this person’s light shines a little brighter. But look around, someone probably thinks the same thing about you. You might be blinding someone right now.

I don’t care what anyone says. YOU are your competition. YOU should strive to get better for YOU. It shouldn’t be about him, her, them or they.

Don’t waste time comparing yourself to others and looking at them as “competition” . . . that’s weak. It doesn’t matter how they got to where they are—They’re there! If that’s where you want to be . . . start looking at them as inspiration.

It’ll save you a lot more time.

~Lory

Twitter: @lolosofocused

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