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Save the Facebook drama for your mama!

16 Jan

 

I’ve come to a realization (seems a normal occurrence for me these days, huh?) That I am by far a bigger bitch in real life than I will ever be online…

In real life– I detest drama, but when the time comes I’ll admit, I don’t shy away from a [healthy] argument. Its good for the soul. And I have no shame admitting I’m one of those people who: come hell or high water, if I have a point–SOMEONE is gonna hear it! I don’t even care if the argument was over hours ago, either. 😀

But online!? Sorry to break the bad news, but no matter how much you shouty caps at someone you won’t caps lock them to death. It doesn’t make your point come across clearer, and really just makes you look like a dumb ass… #dontkillthemessenger — I’m just saying!!

I can hear an argument going on in real life and not bat an eyelash… See two people throwing down and walk by them as if its an everyday thing, but online?

Ohhhh!!!
Nothing will make me run for the metaphorical hills (aka unfriend, unfollow, block, ignore) someone quicker than the ever present bitch fests and cat fights! I’m allergic to online mayhem: it literally makes me cringe and grimace.

Obviously, we all have our moments and days where we really just need to let out a good rant… But after that, most of us move the hell on!

Some people though– wowzers!! Really, what they need is Dr. Phil. Not a slew of online friends, who don’t really know them, giving a shit ton of useless advice they haven’t and would never use themselves!

Which brings me to my next point of just … Really?! WHO exactly are you arguing with? *scratches chin* that person whose only connection to you is the fact you’ve clicked ‘like’ on some of the same pictures or post?! Maybe commented on the same thread!? Wow, ya’ll go way back, huh?

This is another reason I’m more prone to bitch someone out in RL rather than online.  My friends and family know me.  They know my quirks, ins and outs, what makes me tick–and at the end of day: That we’ll move past our arguments ’cause deep down we love each other. For real!

Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and all that isn’t real to me. You only know someone (for real) when they’re a constant present in your everyday real life. And even then you only know so much.

If I have an issue with someone that just needs to be hashed out– I’ll email them, call, text, skype, pm etc. If I don’t have the means to contact them in those other ways: the reality is I probably don’t know them well enough to get into online scuffles with them in the first place.

So when you just have that urge to ‘put someone in their place’ and I mean ALL THE TIME– please realize you’re not a Facebook Thug and no one fears you.

We roll our eyes.

Laugh at you.

Then while un-friending and blocking– we do both of the above.

Santa Claus isn’t real…

26 Jul

… And celebrities are human.

Gasp! Who knew!

Ok, I’m sorry but those who know me, know I never miss the opportunity to let my sarcasm shine. So, I had to have that one, thanks for understanding.

Those who know me, also know that I’m a huge ‘Twilight’ fan—don’t judge me! Lol

With that said, I’m sure people are wondering what my thoughts are on this whole Kristen Stewart cheating on Rob Pattinson issue.

I’ll answer about my feelings (or lack thereof) momentarily…

What I would like to comment on, first, is people’s reactions to shit like this. I honestly don’t get it. I mean, hey I’m not one to pass judgment ‘cause I, too, perpetuate the vicious cycle of “Celebrity Gossip” by looking online at the rag mags, and wondering “what the hell he/she was wearing at said event.”  Or “wow I really can’t believe she’s having an alien’s baby”—(more sarcasm)… but you know what I do at the end of the day: I sleep just fine, and forget about these people who don’t know I exist, and probably never will.  

I also take everything I read with a grain of salt.

The same can’t be said for everyone, though, especially over social media, because for the past few days my Facebook and Twitter have blown up into a shit storm of hate and ugliness that’s surprised even me. And trust me; I’ve seen some hate and ugliness in my life—I mean, who hasn’t right?

I’ve seen “friends” turning on each other, battle swords drawn, and insults being flung around to the extreme. All in the name of how people feel others should be reacting. 

At one point I had to take a step back and say to myself:  “Self? Is this what die-hard—or in this case Twi-hard—fans, are supposed to do? Pull out the pitch forks; argue with not just each other but media outlets as well? Could it be, that I Lolo am not as much of a fan as I’ve proclaimed?”  No this can’t be… I continued. “Of course I’m a fan, I even write Fanfiction for it for crying out loud”—so what is it? Why am I not devastated and cursing the skies of the injustice of it all?

I’m not kidding, I really wondered (if only for a brief second) why I didn’t care.

And then I remembered why none of this has fazed me—at least not to the extent it should. I mean, I’m human after all– so even I had a minor reaction; shit didn’t you at least snort when you found out about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? That’s a reaction!

Or what about Will and Jada? Another reaction…

Honestly I’m still a little broken for Sandra Bullock (ok not really but I’ve proven my point I hope)… yes we have reactions—even if it’s to roll our eyes and say who care’s—but we move the fuck on ‘cause we learned a long time ago that: Santa isn’t real, the Easter bunny ain’t shit, and the tooth fairy (who never even existed in my life) would really be nothing more than a creepy bitch for taking little kids teeth.

All on the same strength that behind the pictures, movies etc. These “celebrities” are humans who fuck up everyday just like us. Only they have millions of people watching. If someone IS devastated, well than *hugs* to you … if someone (like me) isn’t well *nod* right on… At the end of the day, everyone has the right to care, or not care as they see fit! Trashing each other for it? Well damn, did I miss a time warp where not only was freedom of speech but freedom of THOUGHT was band as well? I must have… 

So, what’s my thought you might wonder… It’s simple really… I don’t give a shit! *shrug*

___________________________________________________________________

Revised: 7/27/12  Okay, I lied, there is something about all this that I DO care about… The “Blame Game” … All I’ll add is–and this is to the angry/devastated folk that I want to hug– if you ARE wanting to light the pitch forks and this that or that other, don’t forget to spread the “hate” and “blame” around … ‘Cause last I checked, the saying was: “It takes 2 to tango” 😉

Isn’t she lovely? Isn’t she wonderful ….

29 Jun

Didn’t think I meant it when I said I’d be right back, huh? Well HA! 🙂

OK!!! I would like to thank the Awesomeness that is YYChristian over at The Key’s to attraction blog for nominating me for the “One Lovely Blog” Award! I don’t think I can gush enough about his blog, But I’m gonna attempt it!!

Fella’s! PLEASE for the love of all that is good in the eyes of single women– PLEASE check out his blog! And ladies please show him some love to… He’s trying to help school the men folk, on just about everything on the do’s and don’ts of … well everything! And he does a damn good job at it. *Whispers, “He must double check with the ladies on some things ’cause he’s a little too spot on with some of the advice.”* 😉

Moving right along!

As with Every Award you know what times it is!

So here are the rules!

* Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post.

* Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.

* Nominate fifteen or so bloggers you admire.

* Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know and link back to them

Part 1-

7 things about Lolo (I may have already said some of these things before, but *shrugs* that must mean I really want you to know them).

1. I’m the youngest of three … (and the super annoying younger sister).

2. I’ve lived in Florida, Massachusetts, New York, and Haiti

3. I’m in my 20’s <— (That’s all you’re gonna get) lol

4. I’m afraid of the dark! (Things go bump in the night after all)

5. I hate, hate, HATE squirrels. (This I know I’ve said before, but it deserves mention twice. I just don’t understand why the little bastards exist).

6. I’ve seen more cooter than all the men I know combined! (I used to bar tend/waitress at a strip club).

7. The only sport I watch is Soccer.

Bonus: Since I jipped ya with bringing the squirrels up again

8. I played the clarinet for 4 years, but my brother made me quit when I got into high school!

Part 2-

Nominations

This might seem like a total cop-out … but in all fairness– this go round, I can’t pick! Really I follow so many blogs, and they all have so many things to offer that I won’t be able to decide. (Especially since I’ve been MIA for almost 2 weeks and a lot can change during that time you know).

Instead, I would just like to turn this back over to you guys! Thank you SO much for always providing me with laughs and smiles! From writing advice, to dating advice, to all around randomness … There really are some awesome bloggers on WordPress!!!!! Please check them out, and when you find a hidden gem of a blog that needs some recognition … pass along these awards to let them know how awesome they are and how much you appreciate them! 🙂

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

You can follow me on Twitter: @lolosofocused

7 Days, 7 Posts, 7 Deadly Sins

4 Jun

So I decided to give myself a challenge. Not a big challenge. Just a little challenge to see if I could find a reason (topic) that would require me to post everyday for a week!

I know some of you are probably waving a dismissive hand at me, as if to say “A blog a day for a week? That’s it?” Well… yeah that’s it! Lol

It might not sound like much, but to bloggers like myself who lag and struggle with things to say, often skipping days- if not weeks of posting, trust me: it’s a lot!

So, in thinking about my “challenge” to myself, a thought occurred to me! THE 7 DEADLY SINS! *Take a moment to shake head* Yeah, I’m not surprised that, that’s the first thing to come to me either! Moving on!

So what’s my challenge exactly? Well it’s to post 7 blogs, once a day (or more if the mood strikes *snort* it won’t) each day centering around a “deadly sin.” 

Not sure what the sins are? Don’t worry I’ll highlight them below.

Each day, for the next 7 days, I will make a post- dealing with something that I’ve done, or been a part of- in regards to the seven deadly sins!

I hope you’ll enjoy each, and that some of you will join me! 🙂 I would LOVE to see what certain people write for certain things (Lust *coughs* Lust).

Here are the sins:

**

Lust

Uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.

Gluttony

Excessive eating and drinking.

Greed 

Excessive or rapacious desire, especially for wealth orpossessions.

Sloth

Habitual disinclination to exertion; indolence; laziness.

Wrath 

Vengeance or punishment as the consequence of anger.

Envy

Vengeance or punishment as the consequence of anger.

Pride 

High or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance,merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or asdisplayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

**

Yeah, I’m sure I could highlight ONE weekend where I’ve exhibited ALL of these sins! How about you??

Oh and while all of you are HOPEFULLY thinking of your 7 deadly sins; take a moment to think about “What you’ve learned from blogging” Nicole over at NMNPHX is compiling a lists from fellow bloggers in honor of her blogiversary (it’s a word, I swear) have questions? Hit her up here. 

Once a Cheater– Always a Cheater?

27 May

… Sometimes, I’m not so sure that’s true.

Now, before I begin, let me state that I’ve never cheated on anyone. I have, however, been cheated on and cheated with. There’s no other way to describe that feeling, other than it hurts like a MOTHER! I wouldn’t wish that gutted feeling on my worst enemy. So, I am in no way out to make excuses for anyone. In any way, shape or form. Got it? Good! Moving on! 

For a story that I’m working on —which deals with a past event that some might consider cheating—I found myself stuck on how to make my character proceed with her relationship. 

Her boyfriend, or in this case fiance’, doesn’t cheat per say, but he does do something that he shouldn’t have. That’s all imma say.

Anyway, my initial reaction was to make her furious. She left, stopped speaking to him, attempted to move on, etc. Months went by before she even entertained the thought of speaking to him. Let alone reconciling with him.

When I sent a rough draft of it to two of my pre-readers, they both sent it back to me with the same concern.

“Don’t you think you have her overreacting a little bit?”

“Of course not!” Was my first reaction. This, of course, is with me not having re-read it with those thoughts in mind. But regardless I stood firm. 

For about 5 minutes. 

Than I realized, “Holy… she IS overreacting. This is totally unrealistic, and no one, in real life would react so drastically.”

Or would we?

Like I said I said, I’ve been on both sides of that cheating spectrum. Having been the naive girlfriend, and the chick on the side. Cars have been keyed, prank calls and idle threats have been made. Fights were won and lost. I’ve done and reacted in many ways that I’m not proud of. But at the time, felt justified. 

I look back on my younger self sometimes and want to shake myself shouting “WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?”

The same, as I imagine, a lot of the knuckleheads that broke my heart, look back and think, “Wow,  I was terrible.” 

See where I’m going with this? Not yet? Okay…

Back to the question: WHEN is a cheater always a cheater? 

Yes, if your of a “certain age” and still cheating and carrying on about, do I think this rule applies to you? Absolutely!

But when you’re young and growing up etc. do you guys think it applies?

Do you always look back on someone’s past “behavior” in a relationship and let it dictate how you think they will be with you? 

If you find out he/she cheated on their last boyfriend/girlfriend– Do you automatically assume they will do the same to you? Or does this only apply if this happened WHILE you guys were together? 

Me and my Arthritis… 5 things I learned

28 Apr

I’ve mentioned in a past post (or two) about me being stuck in a rut or not being able to do certain things and have always hinted at explaining it at a later time. Well the time has come! 🙂

So a little over a year ago I was diagnosed with having a ‘condition’ called Seronegative Spondyloarthropathy. Don’t worry it’s nothing life threatening. What I came to find out is that it’s really a fancy way of saying I have a ‘joint disorder’. And to break it down some more it’s a form of Arthritis. However, for some reason in my case, I’m accompanied with muscles spasms as a bonus prize.

Anyway, It’s been an interesting journey and battle to say the least. But just like many random curve balls in life, I’ve learned a few things along the way.

1. Arthritis It hurts like a bitch. Yeah I know that should go without saying but I had to mention it AND put it on the top of my list. Seriously, the pain is something I’ve never experienced before (this is coming from someone whose been through surgeries and some other issues that we can discuss later) and wouldn’t wish it on my worse enemy. Ok maybe I would but I wouldn’t wish it on just anyone.

2. Everyone (if you can and have the means) should have some sort of healthcare insurance. Now this isn’t my backwards attempt to discus politics. (For those outside the US healthcare reform or ‘Obamacare’ is a big issue right now.) This is me telling you exactly how I feel; and this goes to my generation the most. The 20 something’s who think we’re invincible and would rather save that extra chunk they take from your check on payday. Trust me I was there. I was you.

I never liked going to the doctor unless it was time to check something womanly or unless I was on my death bed; but at the time I was living in the commonwealth of Massachusetts where we were actually required to get insurance. If that had not been the case, I wouldn’t have gotten it.

And thank God I did because when I got, (not sick, not hurt) but you know when all this went down, had I not had insurance, life would have been really hard for me. I stayed in the hospital more then once for weeks at a time and had to go back and forth to different docs before they could even figure out what the hell was wrong with me. I don’t know where I would be if I was getting those doc and hospital bills in the mail now. Which leads me to…

3. Doctors can be some really prideful idiots. I’m not bashing ALL doctors, hell I have doctors in my family. But some, especially the ones I first encountered were idiots and couldn’t figure out what was going on with me.

This would have been fine since they’re human and all, but instead of telling me “I don’t know what’s wrong with you and you should go see someone else” they thought it was a good idea to guess and therefore misdiagnosed me several times.

From ‘severely tearing’ many major muscles in my leg, which confused everyone seeing as how I had been sleeping when the excoriating pain hit me, to things that really have nothing to even do with thigh and hip pain, it was as if they were picking out of a hat.

Had they gotten it right before, and not the almost 6 months later when I finally found someone competent, things wouldn’t have been as bad as they got. Yeah get a second opening and sometimes third or fourth if need be.

After all you know what they call the guy who graduated at the BOTTOM of his med school class right? Yup- DOCTOR!

4. Friendships get tested. People you don’t expect to rise to the occasion do and others you think will be there flop on you. I don’t need to go into this one much. It’s pretty self explanatory. You never know whose going to step up and it always hurts when people you loved and thought loved you don’t think twice about turning their backs on you.

And most importantly-

5. You’re never too old to ask for help and cry for your mommy. Yeah this was the biggest thing for me. I’m stubborn; I know this and probably always have been. If I was starving it was hard to admit that it’s because I didn’t have money that week and if I’m hurt the last thing I want to do is cry like a baby in front of people.

Oh make no mistake, I have no problems crying if let’s say I’m sad  about something or even acting a little melodramatic about having a cold but if I’m in pain or If  something is really going on, I’m known to internalize it and take it on myself.

I think I knew the minute I was in the hospital, the first time, that everything had already changed. I think I knew BEFORE being admitted a second time and my wonderful mother flew up to help take care of me that I needed her. And I can admit, now, that when I was told I couldn’t go back to work I wasn’t surprised; but that stubbornness in me fought and the person I was fighting was really my damn self. I’m in a much better place internally and physically now that I accepted that help.

So yeah that’s that.

I’m actually doing much better now (in case your wondering, if not that’s ok to Lol.)

So now you know why I have a pretty cane that I adore (Thanks C)  or why I have a sexy pimp limp and use scooters when I go to certain stores.

cane

My pretty cane 🙂

But most importantly you’ve learned that Lolo can be deep when she wants to! Who knew? 😉

What’s a BYGONE Anyway?

28 Mar

I realized very recently that, though it’s a nice thing to say in theory, every time I’ve ever told someone “It’s all in the past” or “It’s water under the bridge” (a saying that I never really thought made sense in the first place)I was essentially being a big fat liar, liar pants on fire. {Hangs head a shame}

I say this only because I’ve learned that the past rarely ever stays there and the whole water under the bridge thing doesn’t work out either; if you’ve ever driven over or seen a bridge you see that indeed the water around and underneath it is still there and hasn’t evaporated and gone away. (That’s essentially what they’re implying with the saying right? See why I don’t think it makes much sense?)

I mean don’t get me wrong. I do indeed believe that everyone deserves a second chance. (Those who have committed unspeakable crimes, as well as my cousin who ate the last cupcake the other night after I specifically called it, not included. He’s dead to me.)

At the same time doesn’t the famous quote go something like “The best way to predict future behavior is by looking at someone’s past behavior?” Or wait is it “Past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior?” Whatever…

The point is- should we really let bygones be bygones? BygonesOr  dictate what people are going to do with what they’ve already done?

In some cases I vote with a resounding HELL YES. For example, I really wish my Credit history and subsequent credit report should be wiped clean. Therefore that credit card I didn’t pay off from my college days wouldn’t be affecting me as much now. (I will neither confirm nor deny that there is in fact more then one credit card from my college days that got used and not paid off).

In other cases I will shout a big fat HELL NO!STOP THE PRESSES and GET THE F’ OUTTA HERE WITH THAT! Because though we say it with the kindest of hearts- sometimes in a way to encourage a loved one whose made a colossal mistake to move forward, or let someone whose hurt us know that they are forgiving- One bad apple spoils the bunch at times and easily forgiving someone’s past with NO repercussions tends to give way too much power to those who are habitual fucks up.

What do you think? Does EVERYONE deserve a clean slate? Or should they forever be accountable for something they’ve done.

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